Peer Group Chat// Internal Conflict // Thursday 20th June 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST

Q1: How do you experience internal conflict?

• real struggle inside.

• hard to even put into words

• all your energy is put into this internal war and it's hard to see a resolution. It can appear physical as well. Can lead to fatigue, just wanting to sleep, agitation

• constant fight within myself as to whether I give in or keep going. The constant negativity that goes through my head

• Physically I feel the fight, flight or freeze response while psychologically I might be in a state of anxiety, worry, apprehension.

• that moment of trying to deal with the state of conflict itself. Trying to calm the racing mind so I can weigh up the decisions for and against, and achieve some kind of resolution.

• Mental exhaustion followed by physically being unable to function properly

• Depends on severity e.g. whether it challenges our values

• internal fight of what you are or aren’t doing to what you should be i.e tension between what we know we ought to do versus what our mind and body wants to do

• shame vs self-esteem, deference vs confidence , ambition versus serenity, faith versus scepticism

• rumination

Q2: What sorts of things might we experience internal conflict about?

- based on ethical issues, principles or values - when they're challenged and I'm unsure about how to speak up and challenge the issues with people. Happens in the workplace for me.

- Family, relationships.

- Day to day life. Things that you should be doing but don’t feel you can. Social events. Family.

- disparity between the positive and self destructive choices I have made

- people

- parents

- legally binding documents

- things we do or say

- learn the skill of ‘good enough’

Q3: How does internal conflict impact or influence your life?

• No peace

• Restlessness

• Irritability

• Changeability

• Draining

• Soul-destroying

• Makes on doubt mental capacity, and whether capable of performing the various roles I have. I feel like I don't belong in, or deserve, community. It makes me feel and look sad and defeated. I feel exhausted and defeated.

• balancing the pathological internal conflict that gets me know where against the internal conflict that promotes better decision making. I'm trying to practice mindfulness more on the first one.

• Imposter syndrome in order to please people, yet this is conflicting

• ‘fake it till you make it’ allows you to experiment with what works

Q4: How can we become more aware of our internal conflicts?

• Sweaty palms

• Speaking really fast

• Excessive rumination

• Anxiety

• immobilised physically and mentally if severe conflict arises

• rumination, avoidance of triggering situations, nausea or headaches maybe.

• Therapy e.g. DBT, CBT, ACT

• Obituary exercise: what will people say at your funeral? They will highlight meaningful aspects of your life

Q5: What are some of the barriers to addressing internal conflict?

• Fear

• Ill-health

• People saying other things

• Self – we can be our own worst enemy sometimes

• External expectations

• Trauma

• Systemic/environmental factors

• 12-step recovery program

• Owning aspects of yourself

• Considering growing and recovering past current limitations

Q6: How can we create opportunities to help resolve our inner conflict?

• Accept the things we know we cannot change

• Working to change the narrative to what we want it to be

• Learn to ‘let go’

• Therapy

• Peer support

• Having someone to bounce ideas off

• Having an open mind

• Balancing working outside our comfort zones

• Be around others

• Connection to see the true self

• Self-reflection

Q7: If you are having difficulty resolving inner conflict, what are some ways to help guide and support the process of resolution?

• Consider the end goal and ideally who you want to be. Work backwards to create stepping stones for yourself.

• Research about the conflict to gain a deeper understanding about what is happening

• Journalling

• Pro/Cons list

• Therapy to gain a different insight

• Talking to trusted people about it

• Being able to let go when things are not perfect

• Reflection about what people have said

Q8: What is one thing you want to try next time you experience internal conflict?

• Curious before furious

• Consider when to speak and when to keep quiet

• Reflection

• Obituary task

• Battle on