Loneliness

Hi @Peppapig. While I do have a partner currently, she is the only one I've ever had and I met her when I was 43, 10 years ago. Before then I was like you, no partner with no hope of ever getting one, no friends to speak of and very little family. There was certainly no one I was close to or could get any support from. So I do know what loneliness is like to deal with.

I have 2 cats and recently had a health scare with one of them. Thankfully he was fine but I just wanted to point out that they provide far more joy and company over their lives that the grief of losing them. So just something to consider there.

I worked in a community centre for 18 years previously, and some of the ones here did run social groups for people, whether it was crafts and just a talk group. There were also walking groups if you prefer more outside activities. I would suggest contacting your local community/neighbourhood centres to see what they offer. They are also always looking for volunteers to help run them which is something else you could look at. All the community centres here were funded by the local council, so that would probably be a great place to find out what's around. Although you say you live in a small town so there may not be many options. Maybe the local library has volunteer opportunities and runs groups other than the book club.

As for living alone without going insane... I tended to do stuff I enjoyed to pass the time. I basically just tried to keep myself busy to minimize the time I spent just thinking about things, that never went well.

Best of luck with everything, I hope you find something soon as I know how hard it is to be alone.

Hi @Peppapig . I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with loneliness. I am in a similar situation and understand how difficult it can be when you have no support system.

What has helped me considerably are forums such as these and reading others stories makes me feel less alone in my daily mental health struggle.

I also play some simple games on my phone which have " teams or clans ". I realise that it may seem a bit silly, but I find that the small amount of banter/ chat in these games makes me feel like I have at least been spoken to and igknowled.

I am really happy to hear that you are reaching out and being proactive by starting with the volunteer work. Well done 👏.

Have you considered joining a local activity such as a sport or hobby group? That may be another way for you to widen your social circle and make new friends.

I hope your loneliness starts to improve for you very soon. Best wishes.

Im also very lonely and mentally drained. I guess, sometimes aloneness has its advantages. Like, heck, Im married but constantly feeling let down and disrespected. Disagreements that quickly turns into senseless conflicts. Then gaslighted, ignored and stonewalled for more than a month.

Even cruel enough to leave for a nice vacation, posting on facebook her marvellous time whilst Im left vulnerable alone at home, feeling lonely and unworthy.

I also have attachment anxiety, which does not makes things any easier.

So I guess, that its good to sometimes be reminded of the feeling "the grass is greener on the other side" isnt necessarily greener/true.

So remember, we should always look for something that we are greatful about and too try to change perspectives.

I so admit, its easier said than done. especially the when experiences and hardship can vary.

I think we're just naturally wired with the desire to feel connected with others.

Take them a day at a time, make small impulsive choices to change things a bit. I personally feel it rewarding when something new happens.

I do admit, easier said than done especially when the experiences and hardship can varies. Just gotta keep our heads up! Brigthers days are bound to come back our way.

Take care!

Hey

I live alone too, no partner, no pets, I moved out of a sharehouse 6 months ago cos i like living on my own better for meditating, sleep routines and cleanliness etc... but i think the loneliness does take a toll. I have tried to find people for hikes or surfing through facebook groups bits hit and miss. Like i do have a couple friends here and there but find it hard to build meaningful connections with other males. I think the isolation has really started to affect my mental health which is how i found SANE.