Phone addiction to cope

@Anny101 I turn to my phone excessively too. I lose track of time and deny/avoid dealing with stuff. It's also bad for my eyesight and attention span.

On Android phones you can get a weekly report of daily screen time and limit the time you spend daily on particular apps and applications.

I can relate @Anny101 I find my screen time goes right up when I'm struggling. It's been something that I've been trying to really work on more recently but it is definitely still hard.

Things I try to do instead when I'm having a horrible day are:

- Forcing myself to got outside (even if it's just in the back garden or waking to buy a takeaway coffee from a nearby cafe) I find fresh air and a change in environment can really help

- Trying to do a mindfulness exercise that helps me to get a little distance from my emotions and thoughts, even if it's just for a short while. I'll often just look up exercises online

- Journal what I'm feeling

- If I can manage it then doing some type of exercise. Lately I've been looking up "lazy workouts" on youtube for when I really don't want to do anything but know I'll feel better for it

Other things that have really helped me cut down on my phone time has been deleting my social media apps from there, and sometimes I'll just put my phone in a different room so I can't just grab it. Again, it's a work in progress but I feel like maybe I'm getting better at it bit by bit.

Hope there are some things in here that might be helpful for you

Hey @Anny101 ,

Thank you for sharing a little about what's happening for you. I can see why you are concerned.

Like @Dimity , going on the phone can act as a distraction/avoidance to manage what's happening for you. And true, there are many worse addictions than phones, however, from your post, what I noticed is that it sounds like using phones as a coping mechanism merely distracts you and doesn't actually help you tackle or process the feelings.

Is that fair to say?

I'm not saying get rid of the phone altogether, but I wonder if you can think of strategies that enable you to 'feel' these emotions as opposed to pushing them aside through distraction?.

By working through these emotions, hopefully you will be able to strengthen your skillset so that you can navigate your emotions and feelings more effectively?

I'd really like to unpack this with you a little more when you're up for it. Only if you feel you want to.

I can really see you want things to change currently, you know the phone is NOT the answer.

Wise words @tyme . But sometimes we need help to face and work through the feelings and emotions. Do you have any supports @Anny101 ?

I've had a psychologist... I'm hoping she'll let me complete the therapy plan we started.

it is a deep inability, maybe fear, that when I feel a certain way I don't know what to do with myself. I think it's definitely overwhelm that causes me to not be able to deal with those emotions or cope. I don't know if I have the ability or strength to change this... It's been avoidance of the emotion of feeling overwhelmed .....I seem to want to sabotage when I feel stressed....the stress and hence negative state I'm in makes me want to do negative things such as scroll for hours on end. I don't have a positive mindframe in those moments to do something healthy to release the overwhelm. I've told myself time and again to do something healthy when I'm overwhelmed instead of phone, but it's a self sabotaging habit I can't break and don't know I ever will, and all it will do is repeat. Time and again I delete social media apps from my phone and that's the only thing that can stop me doing this unhealthy behaviour.. going cold turkey....but I re-download them eventually and it all resumes....I wish I could have the apps on my phone along with self restraint and use them In a healthy way .. meaning for a short time a day.....I guess people can't stop eating as a habit when they are stressed, and mine is I can't put my phone down....I guess with any addiction we simply are doing the addiction because we just can't sit with the emotions or deal with them healthily

Love everything you wrote.

Yes I can only be freed from the phone addiction if I delete the apps too , someone told me about the putting phone on another room technique, but I gave up as I always just look for it....I'm too attached.... I like the idea of a mindful practise as opposed to phone usage as a way of de-attaching from feelings I don't want to feel at the moment. I like the concept, I feel that answers me glued to my phone, I obviously feel the need to de attatch .......and there are other ways.....I know reading and journalling can de attach but I'm too depressed to do healthy things like that in those moments, so maybe I can try the mindful techniques and see how that goes..... thanks fingers crossed, because that answers what I should do moving forward and what I need in those moments 🙏

Hey @Anny101 ,

Go slow on yourself. Take your time. It won't happen overnight.

TW: Self- Harm (click to read)

For now, I wonder if rather it being about "I need to detach from my phone", it can be about looking for a healthier replacement behaviour that will give you the same dopamine hit but in a healthier way? I challenge you to think creatively 🙂

Hopefully the community can brainstorm a few things too!

Same purpose meaning another way to hurt yourself? Sorry I hope and guess that's not what you meant but that's how I read it my bad. I guess you meant another way to release pain in a healthier way? I'm not in a mindframe to be healthy in those moments I only want to feed into the negativity I feel like I need to be hypnotised or something drastic to avoid this usual behaviour of mine

Thanks for asking @Anny101 !

So sorry. No, I didn't mean to hurt yourself. Hence I wrote "healthier" way 🙂

So think about things you enjoy that give you the same feeling as what being on the phone gives you. The slowly remove the accessibility of the phone and replace it with the other helpful thing that provides a similar effect.

Sorry to confuse you!