I can't think

@Cats101

To me it seems you should stick to your sister. She is strong and kind.

Cats, it sounds like you're really struggling and overwhelmed. I'm so glad you found this forum and I hope your community here can help you.

First, breathe. Your thoughts are all about the future and the wellbeing of other people, and those problems sound so big that of course it feels like too much.

But you know that you, yourself, right now, are not ok. And while you are focused on what to do about the future and protecting other people, you are so overwhelmed that you are not in the right frame of mind to be able to think about your own needs. How could you possibly get a job when you're in a state of near-panic? The panic needs addressing first, and worrying about getting a job is not going to help you with the panic issue.

So first step, just breathe. Work your way to some calm. I know that's bloody hard, but you can't help yourself or protect anyone else until you can slow those racing thoughts. You know yourself - it might be silly cat videos or talking to a friend or going for a walk or writing or reading a book or taking a warm shower. Anything that helps you be calm without doing yourself harm. Breathe.

Then, you need to take the scary, uncomfortable step of getting help. There is support out there for you and getting that support is the right thing to do. Sign up with SANE, do an online search for mental health services in your area, book in to see your doctor and ask about a mental health plan. Keep visiting the forums and join the online chats.

I'm very aware of how hard it is to do these things when you're feeling the way you feel, but making a solid plan to do these things can help. When you are calm enough, write down your plan. Just a couple of steps, not a huge list. Achievable things that you can do that will help. To start with, it might just be getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating something nutritious, talking to someone in person about anything. It might be contacting SANE to sign up for counselling. If you know something is a good thing to do, plan to do it. And when you get overwhelmed, do one of those things, even if you don't believe it will help.

Any time you start to panic about your job or parents or other difficult things in life, go to your list. Remind yourself that you are on the path to getting a job and helping your parents, but you have to start at step one, not jump straight to step 108 and wonder why it's so impossible.

You are not alone, and you can get through this. One step at a time.

Sending hugs - you deserve to be cared for and cared about.

Thank you, this means alot to me.

We're all here for you, Cats. You can get to the other side of this, because you don't have to do it alone.

I hope you'll find one thing you can do today that you know will help you to help yourself, whatever that may be. Not getting a job or helping other people - something you can do for your own wellbeing to help feel better today. It doesn't have to be big. If you want to share your goal for the day here, you'll have plenty of supporters cheering you on.

One option is joining the peer group chat here tonight. It's anonymous and you don't have to participate in the discussion unless you want to. It is a really supportive and understanding space, where you can see the discussion and support between people who have been through similar experiences. Here's the link if you want to know more: https://www.sane.org/peer-support/peer-group-chat

Hi @Cats101 . Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story here on the forum. That’s a brave thing to do and takes a lot of courage so well done👍🏻. @bliffitygibbet @Stout have given you some ideas of what to do and they’re lots of great suggestions, including stopping to breathe and live for your sister.

I have a lived experience of mental illness and have had periods of unemployment and issues with not wanting to be around people any longer due to having depression. What has got me through is taking 1 step at a time, 1 minute, 1 hour, etc and just doing simple things. I know at times I struggle to get out of bed and get motivated to do things, so I look at breaking tasks down and just doing 1 thing at a time. For me, that could be just getting out of bed and making a coffee or feeding my cat. Little things add up to lots of big things and lots of achievements in the day. Learning to drive is a big thing and is scary and so is looking for employment. Maybe look at speaking to a careers counsellor at a Tafe or employment service and discuss your options? There’s also job websites like Seek that offer lots of employment advice, including volunteer work opportunities which might be something to consider in order to see what career you’d like to work in. It is harder to get employment if you don’t have a license but it’s not impossible, especially if learning to drive is a goal you’d like to achieve, and you are able to use public or alternative transport to get to your employment for the time being.

I hope your day improves and you feel better soon.

Take care.

Judi9877🌻

Hi @Cats101 .🙂

I can relate to a lot of what your saying.

As others have noted, it sounds like your in a lot of distress, and perhaps the first priority you need to focus on is easing your distress.

But in terms of your practical problems, I've heard at times that "career councillors" will set you up with a job; though at other times, I've also been given the impression that they essentially just fob you off onto the colleges and leave it to them to give you your job. I have no personal experiance with them, so I can't personally testify as to whether or not their any good.

Regarding your inability to drive: would being able to drive be an asset to you? Would it make your life better at all? Or would it make your life worse? If it's the latter case, then that's probably the main issue you need to focus on first - you need your life to be fixed so that being able to drive will actually be an improvement.

Other people can often make a big deal out of a person not being able to drive, when often the real issue is that they don't have anywhere that's worth going to. After all, what good is transportation when you've got nowhere to go?

Unfortunately, it's my understanding that therapists won't tell you where the good places to go are, even though most/all of them probably know. I've certainly never had any luck myself with them getting help in this regard.

I'm sorry. I wish I could be of more help.