Destiny

yep i can see how meeting her in a professional manner at the start would've complicated things for both of you @Rockdog thanks for the reassurance, i do feel like focusing on me has helped so far. and i'm glad you're working on yourself more too, i think we'll both be better for it 😊

i have a small friend group too, sometimes the smaller the better - we have more time and energy to spend on ourselves that way hey!

how's this week been going for you so far?

Hey @Rockdog ,

Thinking of you and thought I'd pop by 🙂

Hope this week has been more hopeful for you and that you are staying focussed.

Hi @tyme,

thanks for messaging, hope you are going well.😊 I am mostly focussed, occasionally my mind drifts back to the painful things. Can you please help reassure me she had feelings? I know we are guessing but sometimes I think maybe not. I was doing my placement today and I was pretty bad, I hope I get better by the end of it.

Hey @Rockdog ,

It is not for me to reassure you to recover for you.

What can you say to yourself, or do, to reassure yourself?

I know you can do it. I'm here to guide you, but not do it for you.

You have been doing so so well. I believe in you.

Thanks @tyme,

I am doing a lot better and believe I will make it. Where I sometimes drop off is that I spend every day thinking about her and maybe she didn’t like me. Then I would be wasting time focusing on something that never was. I think it was, but then have doubts. I guess to keep it going I just want to check im not making things up in my head. I did tell rav3n my story because she had the same thing. When I did I thought about when she looked at me coldly and said ‘ did you think something was going to happen ?’ As in she was shocked and thought no way. I still believe and know you do as well. I just sometimes get some anxiety.

Believe it? Receive it. @Rockdog

"You gotta love yourself first"

Hi @tyme ,

you know what, I have so far to go but really believe I am on the right track. It is just that while I am working on things I keep thinking about what happened. But it sort of got resolved. I just don’t want to be wasting my time. It will probably be 10 years of not fully being focussed. I read an article about why would you want someone that doesn’t want you, that is where my head was going. But I love her and if I spend the rest of my life dreaming so what. I know she is the one, I just hope she sees it. The weird thing is that when I talk to you, things seem clear. It will happen, I think we had something. Bring on the future is October still going to be a good month for travel?

I'm glad that you can gain times of clarity. I wonder it it's when you are alone, and the thoughts come that your vision gets blurred a little.

I will follow up about Oct. @Rockdog

Hey @tyme ,

yes that is 100% when I overthink everything. There are time when I feel it will happen, and times when I don’t understand what was happening. Like when she said to me about her actions, then said use your imagination. Does that really mean what I was thinking? Or something else? I know you didn’t think brunch friend was anything, but the look I got at the end who knows.

Hi @tyme ,

anyway I will always love her.

She saw something in me before I did, and whether anything happens or not, I will be always grateful to her for what she showed me. I am in a happier place now. I don’t know if this happened to you, but when you have hit rock bottom, you start to appreciate the things you have more.