I don't trust myself when I worry I'm manic - but I think I'm looking at it wrong

👋🏼 @Jenn4 “Does anyone have any advice?”

First thing I thought was, I had been so sad, for so long, that the action of waking up and not crying, makes me happy and excited.

I woke up today pain-free, not in an abusive relationship and I get to have another go at doing life today. What is there NOT to be happy about? Is that peppering?

I didn’t trust my own judgement, because a predator, identified me as a kind, generous, thoughtful, loving, compassionate person and targeted me.

I hated myself because I trusted this abuser to be a stepfather and grandfather. I forgave myself. I am not responsible for his actions.

Am I happy and excited that I have learned how to use Boundaries to protect myself? Absolutely ecstatic!

No one can be truly objective about themselves, we all see through the lens of our life’s experience.

I am so grateful that I have another day to have ago at uprighting my life’s metaphorical boat, from the biggest sh!t storm of unexpected events.

That’s not manic, it’s happiness.

G

Hi @Jenn4,

Thank you for sharing and welcome back to posting after a while away (I saw your previous post).

I love your level of self-awareness, and I hope you can see what a strength that is, as not many of us have that and it's precious.

I agree, self-stigma and trust are a constant battle and it's not easy.

I can see that you've mentioned that you're not a creative type, but have you heard of the comedian and artist Sam Kissajukian? He was a guest speaker on the first episode of SANE's 'We're People Like You' podcast and although he does talk about using his bipolar and manic episodes to create art it is still very interesting to listen to.

I will keep an eye out for anyone else that is facing some of the same challenges as yourself as well and will let you know if anyone or anything pops up.

But in the meantime, I found some resources that I hope may be of some use to you.

• https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/bipolar-disorder#factsheet
• https://au.reachout.com/mental-health-issues/bipolar-disorder/support-services-for-bipolar-disorder

I hope that you can find the advice and support that you are looking for.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Hi @Jenn4

I don't have bipolar, so I can't offer any advice. I just wanted to say that it sure can be a crappy feeling when you're not sure whether you can trust yourself, or when you think you can but the environmental messaging doesn't really support that.

I hope you find your peace ✌️

P.s. You might want to type 'bipolar' or 'manic/mania' into the search function and see if there's anything useful in previous threads. Other peeps might have ideas 🙂

Thankyou all @8ppleTree @defaultusername @Glisten these are helpful words and insights and encouragement.

@Glisten I particularly love your way of looking at this, thankyou for sharing. And thankyou for sharing about yourself and your experiences. You sound like a great and very competent person. Go you (my coworker always says 'go you' I love it)

Much love to you all ❤️

@Jenn4 What about you, how are you feeling today?

What are your thoughts on what you are experiencing?

Thank you for the shoutout. I’m still learning who I am. I don’t feel competent, but maybe under the circumstances I’m more competent than I think.

On Thursday night @tyme facilitates a Peer Group Chat. Different topic every week. It has helped me a LOT

@Shaz51 has a Sunday evening social thread, Shaz will tag you.

Come hangout with us.

G

Not a problem at all, @Jenn4!

As @Glisten has said previously — how are you going at the moment?

Hope all is well on your end, we're always here if you need a chat 🧡