See here we are in late July. I thought it's worth documenting my journey with psychosis/hearing voices.
Lately, things have been getting better, though I have had a few moments of awful messages, like, "you are mentally retarded" and more very religiously charged messaging about being demon possessed, the devil, accusations of being an evil person and not repenting of sin, and other quite horrifying accusations that I'm not sure I want to disclose.
Anyway, in spite of all that, I've become quite inured to the potency of the messages.
In the last week, I've noticed that the frequency of the voices has declined, which is good, and I have not taken a single antipsychotic for a long time. Right now, I'm sitting in total blissful silence.
I feel more confident than ever of overcoming psychosis. I hope this post may be an encouragement to other sufferers.
It'll be interesting to see how the next few weeks and months play out. I'm realistic given the persistence of my symptoms that there is a very good chance they will return. But, I'm far more resilient than I ever have been, and I'm optimistic that they can get less and less and perhaps even if not entirely then almost entirely disappear.
I'm experimenting also with what could be thought of as "denialism" but what I'm calling "disidentifying" with schizophrenia and voices, and trying to imagine that I never developed psychosis and I don't have this problem, even if symptoms re-emerge. I think it psychologically helps in more ways than one. Schizophrenia is obviously a very loaded and unfortunate term and diagnosis with all the stigma that goes with it, so it is good to think, "this is not me", even if medical professionals have given me that label and the majority of the population were to disagree if they were able to somehow find out. It also helps psychologically to believe in oneself as being of "sound mind".