not sure what to call this tw (suicide)

so about 7 weeks ago i attempted suicide i tried to talk to my case manager, he hung up on me, i called life line they told me to use the strength i used to call them to get through the night, i told my psychologist but she is not a crisis support. anyway in the end i gave up on trying to get help and made the attempt. while i was waiting for it to do its thing i accidentally called a family member i hung up and went to text them to apologise for my mistake call but then they called back and i answered to tell them it was a mistake and they must have know something was up because they called the police and the police showed up and i dont remember much after that except waking up in hospital. then they were going to admit me but there were no beds in the entire state so instead i ended up at step up step down and was there for 6 and a half weeks i still dont feel completely back to normal and i am still struggling with everything but yeah that is where i have been.

and now i am trying to pick up the pieces and i am really having a hard time i just want to sleep all day and idk i just everything is hard idk what i am even trying to say anymore i just wish things were better. and sorry i havent been around much or been able to support others much i am hoping one day i can get back to helping others on here more just right now i am kind of drowning myself.