QueenB81Contributor
As i embark on my new journey to peer support pathway and story that led me to this new path
This is all new to me at the age of 42 I am embarking on a full career change to become a peer support worker in FDV, drug and alcohol addiction, crisis situations. It's a journey that became clear last year to me as I await for spinal surgery to have my C5/C6 infused and disc replacement. I live in pain everyday with nerve pain shooting down my left arm and distress to the muscle groups connecting to the C5/C6 area. An injury I received from my ex who was reckless in the bedroom that saw the back of my head impact my bedside table not once but twice within a month. The head traumas caused my disc to bulge and collapse on the left side while infringing on the nerve. This so me grounded by the GP and specialist to cease work immediately as I could no longer do bar work as my work of intensive manual labour would cause serious damage to my injury.
While I have not been able to work for 2 years now while I had undergone every scan imaginable and exhausted every temporary treatment my surgeon realised that a spinal infusion was the only way to fix me. In this time I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do as a new career realising my days in hospitality is over. I had a chance meeting in July last year with the CEO of Hope Foundation who triggered me in regards to how teenager go back to their abuser instead of the accommodation provided through DCP. Understanding why I was triggered I gave her an answer from my own lived experience with DCP as a teenager. It was in this moment that I realised exactly what my true calling is as this lady explained to me about Peer Support work.
As part of my pathway to peer support is sharing my story and as I have relived my past experience I came to realise I have been through so much and sat there thinking to myself how did I survive it all.
Just before my 12th birthday I started to be sexually abused to which I was sexually abused for nearly 3 years. At the age 14 I finally spoke out to what was happening to me behind closed doors to my closest friends at school. One of my friends reported this to the school principle to which DCP were called. By my last period of my school day I was called to the office where I met by to DCP people. At first I denied all claims to my sexual abuse as the DVP people explained to me that I was safe and they would be able to help me escape my abuser with safe emergency accommodation with a foster carer and they would be there for me every step of the way. So I finally caved in and told them what was happening to me. Of course I had to make a full statement to the police and the man was arrested and charged and DCP acted on my behalf during the trial to which I was denied to take the stand. During my time under DCP as ward of the state I was moved around from youth shelter to youth shelter and share accommodation and foster homes which caused me to not be able to continue my education. I made an attempt on my life when informed my abuser found innocent of the crimes against me, this made feel let down by not only the very system that was suppose to protect me and keep me safe but also the justice system. I had no support from DCP to help recover from my trauma and no counselling provided nothing. I spent my days fighting to survive and eventually decided to simply go back home and forced the hand of DCP to sign me back over to my mum and my abuser. Because at least I had a home that provided my basic needs and allowed me to have an education and a job. If I had of stayed under DCP my future would have seen me in a life of crime or worse dead.
As an adult due to my unhealed trauma I ended up in a narcissistic relationship that lead me to meth as my coping tool to numb the pain from my ex and the pain that resurfaced from my sexual abuse. Narcissistic abuse is the worst kind of abuse it knocks you down gradually as your abuser isolates you so you have no support network with friends and family. You are all alone and after 7 years I saw in the mirror of my harsh reality that I was nothing more then a mere empty vessel running on auto pilot not knowing who I am anymore. It was in that moment I broke down into uncontrollable tears as I realised just how broken I was. My reliance on meth to cope with numbing my pain became the very thing that allowed me to leave my narcissistic ex but at the cost of also having to walk away from my children as I had no support to help me. The hardest thing ever had to do was walk away from kids as I was so broken and had no idea where I was going and my ex made sure of that through his constant abuse.
But I left to save myself so I can become strong again and come back and save my children. I fought my addiction to meth and embarked on my soul journey to healing and rediscovering who I am. In the 7 years to come I found away to take my power back and seeked advise on how to navigate getting my children back. Unfortunately family courts was not an option as I couldn't prove what my ex was doing to my kids or prove that he to was a meth user an alcoholic. I would have been rail roaded in court by my ex, so I had to play the long game and find away to not only have access to my kids when ever I wanted but also find away to get to my ex with false pretences to see what he was doing and use that as leverage to eventually force his hand to relinquish his parental rights and send my kids back to me with no backlash from him to me and my kids.
In that 7 years of healing and remembering who I am and my sheer determination to win the final battle between my ex and I to save my kids from him. I over came my addiction for meth and created a stable life for myself and full-time employment as well as a stable home for my kids. I am proud of myself for never giving up and doing exactly what I set out to do on the day worst day of my life leaving my ex and my kids. I accomplished everything I needed to do for myself to come back and be the mother my kids needed me to be and I have never looked back.
This is my a brief version of my story on how I survived everything that should have not only destroyed me for life but my children's lives as well living with the grief of loosing their mother. I have turned my pain into strength to give the courage to do the things I needed to do to have a brighter future for my kids and myself.
Today I have fully recovered and now ready to use my lived experience to help others who are going through similar things that I did and become their inspiration that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That with sheer determination you can overcome everything that has hurt you or destroyed you and come back better then you ever were before. That'd my mission statement to myself to be that beacon of hope as I navigate this journey to become a Peer Support Worker.
Any advise and support that can help me achieve this goal to Peer Support Worker were be greatly appreciated as my passion and drive to make a difference to the victims lives that I hope to be working with in the future.
