Shy & anxious

Hi @Midrose

Welcome to the Forums, so glad that you have found your way here cos its full of the kindest people that I know of. Its like a little community, we are all here helping each other out. You might be shy and anxious, but try not to worry about that, there are plenty of people on here who are just like you, and all trying to live there best life. So does that kitty cat of yours have a name, I have 2 myself, they are presently fast asleep and snoring like troopers. What do you like to get up to......Asgard

Hi @Midrose

Thank you so for sharing your feelings and thoughts with the SANE Community. Having the courage to 'reach-out' is something to be proud of.

It was great to learn that your little kitten is providing you with joy and company. In this regard, have you ever thought about volunteering at an animal shelter or similar? It seems to me that this would be a good fit, and would provide you with an opportunity to meet some nice people.

What I'm also hearing is a need for emotional healing. To this point, your self-awareness and sensitivity (which is btw, such a lovely trait), suggests that you are on track to commence this journey, which might involve you connecting with a trauma-informed counsellor to develop an individualised healing plan.

Lastly, your cautious approach to engaging with people that you don't know and which seem to have inappropriate intentions, is very sensible. Moreover, it highlights your desire for authentic friendships with people that have your best interests at heart. This suggests that you are a highly capable and perceptive person, who recognises a need for positive changes to their life.

@Midrose

Warm welcome to our caring community on the forum. I celebrate your courage to reach out and share yourself with strangers. I am also a shy type of person and as a child I could not talk to anybody even when I needed some help. I really understand what it feels like to be feeling on the outside of life and not have any real friends. It also can feel like others dont like you, when they just stare and dont look welcoming. I was bullied at high school and that leaves a deep mark of shame. I am in a pretty good place now. I dont have many real friends but I dont worry about that anymore or let myself fall into the trap of thinking it is because I am not good enough or worthy. I go out and sing in a choir and spend time in nature and those activities nourish my heart.

Please know that you are worthy and enough just the way you are. Loving yourself is the first step and then the rest will follow!

@Minkie-Rose made a great suggestion to maybe volunteer at a place that would fit in with your love for animals. I often get distracted on Youtube and start watching the channel called Rocky Kanaka where he films his experience sitting with dogs in the animal shelter. Always heart warming to see how his gentle and patient love and attention can turn the scared animals around... and then it is so amazing to watch how they soak up the love. Have you ever seen it? Rocky often says that people thank him for doing this work and he then encourages everyone to go to their local shelters and offer the same.

@MidroseI'm in my 50's and have always been very shy and not really good at making friends, so I've spent a lot of my life alone. Something I've learnt is that I do always tend to assume the worst when I think about what other think about me, and that doesn't help the situation. I found volunteering in the past to be a help and being around other people does get a bit easier over time. I also tried to be around people with similar interests with mixed results. A lot of my failures though, looking back, seem to be some kind of self-sabotage... like assuming the worst like I just mentioned or refusing to budge from my tiny, tiny comfort zone. It's definitely hard to do, but it takes work and persistence, and a bit of luck sometimes. There are still days I just prefer the company of my own cat, but I do try to keep pushing those boundaries of my comfort zone and do things that I would normally talk myself out of. For example, I recently joined a local board game club. I've been to a few and I enjoy it, but it still sends my anxiety into overdrive every time I have to go. So I hope you can find something that works for you soon. Best of luck with it.

Heya @MJG017 ,

I have to agree that I can resonate to your post in many ways... I seem to like my own company and I don't like making friends. I won't say I'm not good at it, but I'd just rather not do it 🙂

Whatever it is, @MJG017 @Midrose , it's important to do what feels comfortable for you and aligns with what you ideally want for your life. Grow can be painful sometimes, but it's worth it if it gets you to where you want to be.

Hi @Midrose welcome to the forum. Don't ever think that you are shy to speak. Just give out your words without thinking about that. I'm sure then you will forget even the word shy. Give your words the wings. 🎑

Pansy my kittens name she a 4 month old blue eyed ragdoll.