D1ng0Senior Contributor
hopeless
I'm really struggling, and I don't know what to do. I really need support.
TW: Suicidal thoughts.
Content/trigger warning
Since reading the May 17th post about voluntary assisted dying, I can't get it out of my head. The logic of the post keeps coming back to me when I'm lying in bed at night. I was keeping the suicidal thoughts at bay, focussing on the reasons I do want to live even if things are difficult right now, but the logic about things being so hopeless that death is the ideal solution... I can't stop my brain focussing on that. My thought patterns can often be obsessive and this is the latest fixation. It's worse when I feel severely depressed and anxious. I wish I'd never read the post. I wish I'd been able to avoid it. I wish I hadn't absorbed the logic about total hopelessness. What I really want is to be comfortable. To be in less pain. To experience peace. I don't want to die. But since reading the pro-dying post, talking about the best method of dying for mentally ill people, my brain has latched on hard. I want to have hope. I want to feel better. But I'm so tired. These thoughts really scare me because of the history of suicide in my family. The logic in the post really scared me. I'm not comfortable calling mental health phone lines because my experience with them has been so bad. But I feel like I need to talk about this somewhere. I really need this forum to feel safe again. Because I have nobody.
If you've had suicidal thoughts, how do you combat them? How do you find hope? I thought I knew how to find hope. I was doing well. But now my brain won't shut up about the solution suggested in the VAD post. How do you make looping thoughts back off?
If you've had suicidal thoughts, how do you combat them? How do you find hope? I thought I knew how to find hope. I was doing well. But now my brain won't shut up about the solution suggested in the VAD post. How do you make looping thoughts back off?
