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Beyond livid & beside myself

FahSenior Contributor24 May 2024, 12:36 am AEST

Beyond livid & beside myself

I’m fkn beyond exhausted and absolutely furious

ive just realised how bloody manipulative my mum is. She’s the closest person too me and has been using coercive control etc and it’s absolutely fucked

and I’m living at home

i I want nothing to f ing do with her

on top of all that my boyfriend has been dishonest with me. Nothing huge like cheating but a betrayal of trust nonetheless. I understand it’s from his trauma but like if I can’t trust you we can’t be together…. His word means nothing to me now and I can’t believe I put myself in this situation

irs no wonder I’m having suicidal thoughts. escapism no plan

im just not ok right now and don’t know how to deal with all this anger sadness etc

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In response to: Beyond livid & beside myself

FahSenior Contributor11 June 2024, 1:26 am AEST

Re: Beyond livid & beside myself

Another sleepless night…..

need to process things but can’t.. idk how to explain it

the Clarity I’ve received this year… this last month even… is a lot to process

my whole world has flipped upside down

i I can’t believe it

The person I thought to have loved me most and never harm me has hurt me the most. How am I supposed to trust anyone anymore?????

essentially my mum has gaslit me to the point of losing my mind… twice…

it all makes much more sense now and the realisation is too much. I can’t keeep going like this..

In response to: Beyond livid & beside myself

OM108Senior Contributor12 June 2024, 12:40 pm AEST

Re: Beyond livid & beside myself

@Fah

I hear the struggle you are going through to make such a radical change. it is a big decision and one of those choices that only you can make. I really understand how this must be for you right now.

My only suggestion would be to sit with yourself in silence, preferably in a quiet spot in nature. Ground your energy and connect with the Universal Mother...focus on your breath and hold that important question you have... in your heart. Try and sit long enough for your mind to relax and your breath to slow down. Only when the mind becomes quiet, can we listen to the inner voice which is guiding us throughout our journey. You know deep down what you want.

Just know that no decision is "wrong" or final. They call life a journey for a reason...sometimes is goes up, then down and then around corners where we cant see what is next....main thing is to TRUST and just to keep moving and let the magic unfold!

Holding you in the LIGHT

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