Uni makes me feel helpless

Tw: self harm and suicide

I am safe.

I have a assignment due tomorrow night. I've been stuck on a question or questions for quite a while now, since yesterday. I've got 3 monitors, all of them with 20+ tabs each maybe even more just trying to search through youtube, stack overflow and other forums and tutorial websites for a solution. I've tried so many things nothing worked. I've been in contact with my lab tutor since around 2PM today, nothing he suggested works, or maybe I don't fully understand it or how to implement it. With everything being a dead end, I feel so defeated. This assignment is worth 40% of my total subject mark. It's driven me crazy, yesterday I was feeling strong self harm thoughts, I ended up drawing on my hand with my pen to cope and it helped get over the wave of emotions. Today I was screaming, and grabbing onto my hair, and as it seemed like a dead end no matter what email I sent or what solution or anything I typed. I had thoughts of ending it because I thought that I was a failure for not being able to understand the questions, I felt so dumb.

I've gone through all the material, over and over again. Maybe I'm missing something, but it all seems like a dead end. I just feel helpless because I don"t think there is anything else I can do to try and solve the problem.

At the moment I don't know how to feel, my body is just exhausted. My mind is numb after the emotional rollercoaster I went through today just because of this assignment. Im just dreading tomorrow. I wish uni was over already. Realistically I'll have yet another semester and yet the possibility of my dad yelling at me and stuff, saying to study harder, you shouldnt be doing this or doing that. Which I guess some of it is fair, but i just feel emotionless right now.