HarryGNew Contributor
My life, so far
I've been fighting depression for most of my life, I've nearly lost the battle several times.
It all started with a father who ridiculed me, verbally abused me and who was very cold and unapproachable.
This all led me to be overweight and very withdrawn for most of my life.
My first marriage was a dismal failure, full of abuse and threats, from her and her family. When she finally walked out, after 21 years, I had a breakdown.
After years of put downs and abuse I was left feeling useless, ugly and believing all the horrible things that were drummed into me for years.
I met a beautiful girl, now my wife, who helped me to be a better person. I got hypnotherapy to fix some of my problems but throughout all this the depression and self harm continued.
Now that I'm in my 50s the depression is still a huge part of my everyday struggle and so is my imposter syndrome.
Feeling like my wife is going to leave me, everyday, and that I'm going to be fired, everyday, definitely contributes to my neverending depression.
I've realised that once you suffer from depression that you never get away from it. Some days it's only 1 or 2 out of 10 but it's never 0.
The self doubt is always there too, it's never 0, but quite often 15 to 20 out of 10.
One day I'd like to find a way to keep it down but I haven't found it, yet.
I'd like to hear from others, with similar histories, who have found their path so that I might try it too.
