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Trauma from the past

Trauma from the past

I have noticed that I am playing scenarios from the past over and over again as if they were a movie. In this movie there is just a barrage of things I've experienced that were negative. I'm constantly going back into it. I can't sit still with these feelings, I feel horrible, gross, ugly. Sometimes they come out of me and I end up hurting those closest to me.

I hate myself for this. I am struggling to move past it. I want to understand it better so that I can move on.

I think I need to take some time now to write out what I'm actually experiencing.

I don't know where or how to start. I would approach this whole thing chronologically if I of course could, but it feels like I can't. All I really feel is my soul getting crushed slowly and the pain from that is piercing into my heart. It's a sharp pain. It makes me want to get up walk away.

Even just now I pretended to look away at something on my phone - it's like I am distracted completely by things.

I overcompensate with things. I feel like I'm not good enough. I'm down on myself. It's very hard.

Last night I had a bit of an argument with my partner about something trivial, we made up but I feel woeful. I spoke to her about how these traumas from the past are affecting me. I need her empathy and at times I just don't know how to speak to her about things. She said I can and it'll be okay. But I don't want to burden her.

You see there is so much I want to say but don't know how to say it. In one minute I can't speak, then the next I wish I could say everything all at once. It's like I have unconscious experience before I am able to articulate exactly what it is - if that makes any sense?

I feel a rush and sense of urgency behind everything in my life except for that which matters most to me - my actual mental health. The one thing that should be prioritised. In my own way. I can't ask the world to prioritize it for me or indeed for the world to slow down for me. I can't fake being strong because that is a form of weakness. So what is the strong thing to do? Cultivate a new world view? Articulate a strategy to get better? Search the deepest elements of my pain and come to a resolution? Maybe it is a combo of all three.

last night I spoke to my sister on the phone and told her that the traumas from the past are getting to me a lot lately.

as I meditate on them now I find that there are so many. Call them traumas or bad experiences or whatever, but the point is that they are real and they are there. IT's like they are happening now in the present. But I know, intellectually, they are not happening. The divide between the present and the past is not there - everything is the past and everything is the present. There's too much mixed up between the two of them.

I grew tired of my old psychologist because he was looking like he was falling asleep in the sessions which really bugged me. It made me self conscious. Like I was meant to be entertaining. He also made some suggestive comments about onlyfans (something I personally disagree with but moot point), it bugged me.

My issue too is that I am intelligent and perceptive enough to know things in myself, but lately I have wondered down a path that has taken me so far from who and what I am.

Similar to Raskalnikov, I have gone far down a path of unsatiated brutal reason and logic. But my own conscious, intact as it is, has rubbed up against myself. I haven't murdered anyone like he did, but I have done things I cringe at. Not on par with murder but things that I no longer see as ethical and I see no other reason behind it as psychological abuse and shame within the church atmosphere I was at when I was young. I used to visit massage parlours for sexual reasons and I feel gross for talking about it, but I must say that it comes with the additional context of sexual shame and guilt in the church environment. This also factored into the way I behaved in the past with regards to dating and trying to hook up. Part of me thinks this is an excuse. But the other part of me sees this as an explanation. Now that I am more self aware, it is a different story altogether. My reason and desperate attempt to try and blot out the pain from the past is rubbing against me and causing me harm psychologically. Even now as I mention it, I feel a bit better. But I don't just want to "feel" better, I want to "be" better.

Being placed into a state of shame and guilt at a formative age really screwed me up. Last night I said something truly shocking, I said that I wished I had been abused sexually because at least that way I would be able to understand why I am the way I am now. It is a horrible thing to say, but it comes from a place of confusion and torment deep within.

This place of torment and confusion - this is something I have experienced for so long now and I am done with it.

I've already beaten suicide. If i can do that, then I can take the next step towards betterment and improving my own state of mind.

It's hard. Very hard.

But the thing is I recall a time in my life where I was better, both psychologically and physically. It was about April-May 2022. Two years ago. I've gone far down a path and I've now decided to leave it. To simply just ditch it. To just move off into a new one. One where I will not be bothered by the same things , one where I stand up for myself , one where I will seek the help I need , one where I won't shy away from saying what I truly feel about anything in a given moment. one that will not feed paranoia and overly skeptical thinking.

I feel a bit better for making this post and I will now call a help service to guide me through feeling so overwhelmed with things.

25 replies

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In response to: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Yeah its starting very vividly

It's basically about an aristocrat who is a cynic

Causes havoc apparently

Shouod be a good read

@PizzaMondo

Hoping tomorrow I can do some art

In response to: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

feels like I have Suppressed A LOT of creativity. I mean a lot. I've just completed the tasks for the day, except for uni which is in about 30mins.
I am overwhelmed. I can't exactly articulate what it is that is overwhelming me. I FEEL most of it is coming from work. But then a lot of it is coming from my own traumas, failures, experiences of the past. Both mixed together make a deadly combination.
it strikes me that at my very core is a sense of injustice. that there has somehow been a great injustice committed against me. I can't articulate it. it's like a sixth sense. it rears its head when I find it hard at work, when I'm doubting myself as a partner even. usually those 2

How is this tied to creativity? Because I think being surrounded by so many different forces, by which I mean "vibes or enegry". Bad work energy manifests itself on my personal life and I don't like this. I'm glad I'm conscious of it. it's lodged in the unconscious. As a result it rears it head.

I am not addressing the obvious problem of my life - work. what do I mean by thus? this is to say that work has become boring, tiresome and tedious, long, dull and stressful.

so?

it'll take time. but I just gotta be smart, which I am of course. very intelligent. but I'm only human as well. there is a lot of reconciling I need to do. I have reconciled much of myself. a great deal in fact. it took time and effort. I think it still is

here's a list of things I've done:
- I have booked a new psychologist to help with me trauma. if he doesn't then I move to another. simple. I've enacted this before. I'll do it again. I'm glad I moved from my old one, but the one I have now isn't cutting the mustard.
- I've applied for jobs.have one next week on 23rd. fingers crossed I perform the eay I want, I answer the questions, I figure it out. I've got the question in advance. I can do plenty of research for it in the lead up. including tomorrow. I don't wanna make success synonymous with getting the job I wanna make success synonymous with going well in the interview. that's what i aim for.
- tonight I'll celebrate 22 months with my partner. last night we said we'd been through a lot. including negative and positive. welcome to reality hey? I like that. it's important. we've grown together and we still are. our trip away was central to that ofc. roast chicken, rice, hummus, wine and a film after. sounds good hey?
- part of reconciling myself is to reconcile the demons with my reason and my drive. this means I can't pressure myself. that's a challenge. I'm figuring it out

that's all for now


In response to: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Realised today that I've basically got my head screwed on properly


Thank god for that


Whatver comes my way in life.....

In response to: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

 

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Hey @MDT ,

I'm confused about the pic. Care to share a bit more? Is it a high-rise?

btw, glad your head's screw on properly 🙂

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Hey @MDT 🙂
Any havoc-happenings so far in your book?
Hope you're enjoying the read so far!

Did you get around to making some art recently? What's your chosen medium?

I've got a self-portrait I began last year on my birthday (using Posca acrylic markers on canvas) that sits unfinished in my room, I hope to complete that this year for my birthday - that's my project for May!

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

@tyme
Yeah its actually out the window of one of the meeting rooms at my work.
Was there during my break time.
Was reflecting on a lot

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

I've actually decided to go back and start it again. Had a disjointed start to it and decided to d'art it again and sit down with it. Not focused on it. Lots on my mind.

I saw the new psychologist yesterday. Was only introductory but I'm hopefuly for where it'll go from here. Was a bit overwhelmed by it. But it was a good thing. Will look into things that trigger trauma from the past as we go forward in therapy.

Yeah pencil is the chosen medium for my art. Finding it hard to do. Did a bit last night which was good.

Sometimes I think having this much self awareness is a curse. If I had more self awareness I'd be smart and know what to do and if I had less self awareness then I wouldn't feel so bad haha.

But hey - maybe being caught in this proverbial limbo is the best thing? Because you're well aware of what the problem is and you've been given enough mental wherewithal to figure it out. The struggle is the point in other words and without it you'd be stuck.

Work is actually hard. It feels somewhat toxic. Feels like I'm targetted out for some reason. I'm hyper self conscious. Reminds me of when I worked in the court's. Seems like I've come unstuck. I came home on Friday because I was constantly distracted by feelings of trauma and why why why this happened to me. I raised it. Went home. They thanked me. But I don't see much from it.
I feel it may be a dark time ahead. But as long as I remember that my light is made brighter by darkness that surrounds me then I think that's all that matters.

So many ghosts and ghouls lie around corners for me. I told the psych that I struggle because I remember things coming up from years ago and there's no reason for it. I guess by placing thse things in the forefront of my mind in a therapeutic context will help me.

In the words of Coldplay- nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it wouod be this hard..... I'm going back to the start....

I had a horrible dream the other night about someone taking their own life. In the dream someone witnessed it and they were distraught.
I woke from that and had to calm myself down.
I remembered that I had defied that. I beat suicide. I found meaning. I found purpose.

As sharp as the cold crisp air hitting my face now as I type this outside, the meaning and reason for my life becomes clear - the reason for my life is whatever I make it to be. It's not something that will be given to me, but it is something that only I can find. And that is why I stuck around because Mt story continues. Ultimately those times I went to hospital were cries for help. And there's no shame in that.

There is only shame if am dishonest and not authentic.

So, in regards to work and the weird vibe? Embrace it. I'm so far past caring that it's not even concerning for me. I'll keep flying.


As neitzche said:
"Those who danced were thought crazy by those who couldn't hear the music"

Can youbhear the music?

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Hi @MDT

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I really admire your strength and insight. It's great that you're starting with a new psychologist and taking steps to deal with past trauma. It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed by it all—just remember to be patient and gentle with yourself.

Your thoughts on the struggle being part of the journey really resonate. It's a tough process, but it's where growth happens. As for work, I am sorry it's been that way, it must be difficult.

I'm glad to hear you're sticking with your art, even if it's challenging. Art can be a powerful way to express and process what you're going through. You're absolutely right—meaning in life is something we create, and your story is still unfolding.

Keep dancing to your own music, no matter how others might see it. Your resilience and honesty are truly inspiring. If you ever need to talk or just want some support, I'm here for you.

In response to: Re: Trauma from the past

Re: Trauma from the past

Cheers @lavenderhaze


Good onya 🙂
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