ThatGuyBPDContributor
BPD and unsure
Since my diagnosis I've had alot to digest. Learning why I was always a bit different started to make sense, but left me with more questions than answers. It's been over a year since therapy debt, and I have been trying to improve in ways I know I can stick to. Exercising regularly was the goal and so far stuck to it, so I am proud of that. Eventually though I get stuck with my thoughts again, and the cycle seems to continue. I've had some time to think, and I've made an oath to stay away from relationships on the whole. But still can't help but feel lonely, and that I'm a burden on my family. I feel like a living contradiction, I see the things I do wrong. But too much of a coward to change them. I need a job for sure, but who knows which version of me you will get each day. So this seems like quite a gamble. Confusing rant over
