mum in need - Borderline Personality Disorder

Hi I am a 54 year old mum of 4 beautiful daughters 26, 23 , 20 and 18 and a supportivie 54 year old husband. I am reaching out to other parents. We were a very happy fun loving family when things are going smooth with our 20 year old. She has moved in and out of our house 3 times in the past 2 years. Each time she hits rock bottom and creates many bills and each time we take her back in. At 18 She was diagnosed with borderline personality with traits of narcissism, and suffered with bulemia She has attempted Tafe twice and pulls out as it is too overwhelming. From April to November 2016 I thought we had turned a corner as she was calm, happy and content with life. She asked if she could do a Tafe course. I suggested that we would pay for a short 6 month course as we couldn't afford another course that she didn't complete. She agreed. She had a casual job and Tafe things were going well. She was in a real good place with her dad and I. Then it was October and she started to show signs of plumeting. Here I am again crying myself to sleep every night because she has been asked to leave our house as she has for the umpteenth time trashed our house in rage. I haven't seen her since Nov 17th yet she sends me the most abusive texts telling me to burn in hell and calls me a c@@t on a daily basis. My husband and I have given her so many chances and taken her to so many professionals and spent a lot of money on trying to get her help. She refuses to admit that she has a problem, will not take her medication as she said it is our fault that she is like she is because we have ignored the fact that she has a mental issue. She has lost her licence due to speeding and had an ICE addicition which my husband and I helped her overcome by going cold turkey, this addiction lead to a lot of our precious items being stolen and she has attempted suicide 3 times and has been in a coma for 3 days as she attempted suicide when she was 16. She distorts everything to be everyone else fault. She has hit me over the years and then calms down. At the age of 18 she was no longer able to attend CAMS and therefore has not had any professional help since as she doesn’t believe anything is wrong. The 23, and 18 have also been blacklisted from her as they stood up to her on the 10th of Nov 2016 for the first time " telling her to stop feeling sorry for herself and realise how many chances mum and dad have given you. You have been on 1 on 1 road trips with dad as he has tried to calm you and understand you. We have never had that. You are onto the 3rd car yet we don’t resent you but you still blame the family for your state. We are constantlly reaching out to you and tolerating your behaviour because we understand you have BPD" She constantly lies to her friends and each year has a new bestie. She writes the nastiest lies on facebook about her sisters. Unable to keep a boyfriend as she is very controlling and possessive and they can't cope. Then she storks them and makes their life hell by spreading lies . Yet she is still my child and I am sick of feeling guilty on a daily basis for standing by my husband as he has asked her to move out. I am so drained and it has had such an impact on my other 3 daughters. My husband is at a loss and is worried at how much I cry. I look at the xmas presents in the corner from us and her sisters and burst into tears. I know people that have put up with way worse and haven’t kicked their child out. This time when she trashed our house I agreed she had to leave. I have lived with her rages and betrayal, deception and violence since she was 10 yet still feel guilty. She is telling me that if I don’t get my husband to apologize to her for shutting her down when she was offering him assistance in regards to her 18 year old sister’s boyfriend cheating on her. A simple thing like that has turned her into a rage. She smashed every ornament that was precious to me and smashed all the photos that had her in them. The 18 year old told her dad that she is going to forgive her boyfriend and she is madly in love with him and he needs to accept it. He said I will not lecture you anymore but you don't have my blessing to date him but he is never welcome in our house as he has cheated one to many times on you and I can’t bare to see you hurt over and over again. You deserve better. They hugged each other, which then put my 20 year old into an uncontrollable rage. She got so out of control that the neighbours called the police. By the time they arrived 4 hours later she was asleep and the next morning Nov 17th she woke and continued the rage. Yet here I am still feeling guilty. Help me. I have had to block her as the texts were becoming nastier each day. I am A worried mum.