AkumiNew Contributor
Depression and Family issues
I know its not just me who's been through this.
But why can't parents ever get it?
I told my mum I felt empty and upset today, and she just said it was because I had too much free time in my hands. My dad yells at me on the daily at the smallest things and is quite narcissistic. I told my mum today that my parents and grandparents make me feel upset, she told me to never talk about it again because I should just be thinking about how to improve my 'worth' in society so that people accept me more. I've lived like this for over 4 years. I have DPDR (Depersonalisation and Derealisation disorder) and I feel unreal and fake everyday. My mum thinks Im saying all of this for attention.
Ive grown up to be a people pleaser, I dont want others to feel the same as me.
But I just feel depressed.
Everyday I have no appetite, nothing to look forward to, this constant sadness flooding my head, this guilty feeling, the pressure to please everyone, the stress from my school work and outside of school activities.
WHEN WILL IT STOP.
I JUST WANT TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN.
IVE TRIED EVERYTHING. RELIGION, GAMES, HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS, RELATIONSHIPS, THERAPY, MUSIC. WHY CANT I FEEL BETTER.
FOR 4 YEARS AND MORE.
I HAVENT FELT ALIVE SINCE.
People at school dont care about me. They all think its funny. No one believes me. No one listens to me.
I listen to everyone's problems, and i comfort them. So how come when i tell them my problems all I get replied with is 'Oh'?
Im tired.
I know people have it worse than me.
But I just want to feel better, and I want other people to feel better.
