Pivotal times

Good morning @Cinders, congratulations on your sobriety, and I'm glad you've found this online community. Definitely a good idea to talk to your GP and get more support. I'm a little over 2 years sober and can relate to a lot of what you're saying. If you have been using alcohol to excess, especially to deal with negative emotions (stress, depression, social anxiety), then adjusting to life without that crutch can be very difficult, and it's natural to feel overwhelmed by the things that alcohol previously soothed. Depression can easily occur as your brain takes on that relearning process. I have experienced the drift of friendships too, and the lack of excitement/enthusiasm for activities and events, so you're definitely not alone.

A weird side effect of sobriety that I experienced (which nobody warned me about) is that my days seem so long, as alcohol isn't affecting my perception and memory anymore. Every hour seems to take ages to pass. This can definitely magnify the "going through the motions" feeling, along with a sense of boredom and disconnection. I'm bringing this up because I think there are a lot of unique, complex experiences that sober people experience, and it can take a while for a human brain to start processing life in a whole new way. It's natural to struggle, especially while holding down a job and parenting.

Looking at the bigger picture though, it's so wonderful that you quit alcohol and started exercising instead. I'm so proud of you. Very few people told me that when I got sober, so I hope you hear it in your life. You're doing something admirable and hard, and you deserve credit for that.

Thank you @D1ng0 I appreciate your kind words. A couple of tears dropped as I read ypur reply so I guess I am a little fragile at the moment. I don't hear kind words a lot, so thank you. I drank to overcome pain, I drank a lot. Once I decided to commit to myself, which I do now every day, I was able to address the pain, this may take a while 🙃 I have a feeling of alone-ness that is exhausting. Perhaps my expectations of sober life living rainbows and lollipops wasn't very realistic. I may need to give myself more time to re-assess and find the equilibrium that makes me feel joy once again. Have a beautiful day, I appreciate you sharing your time with me.

Thank you for sharing @Simon2 Amazing story.

No worries @Cinders, it's lovely to hear that my words resonated with you. Accessing those feelings is a good sign, I reckon! It takes a lot of strength to sit with strong emotions and acknowledge that you need time to heal, especially if alcohol prevented that reflection previously. Being vulnerable takes huge strength if you have been through pain. In my opinion, sobriety should be about much more than abstaining, it should be about giving your inner self the love and patience that you deserve. It's a tall order to expect quick healing from ourselves once we've quit alcohol, but I think most of us have that expectation. It's completely natural to hope for the best. Reassessing that expectation, slowing down, and accessing support is a great instinct. I wish you luck!! And I hope you have a beautiful day, too 😊 But, even if it's a tough day, this community is here for you.

@D1ng0 Thank you

Hey there @Cinders 🙂🌺

thanks for sharing your story here with us 💜

coming to terms with changes and finding new ways of engaging with life doesn’t come easy ❤️‍🩹🙂

I helped my older sister through her alcohol use when we were young, and I could see her going through the hardship of trying to find something of joy in her days, and her sadness at living life unshrouded by the mist that made her days easier when she was doing her best to stop ❤️‍🩹

I have also had my own days, weeks, and months of living in the numbing comfort of inebriation when I wasn’t able to cope alone, and alcohol was all I had 🌺

Just wanted to say you’re not alone, and time is a great helper, along with fighting to keep an open mind to experiencing things differently (which may not quite be joyous or happy initially, but little by little, things can change 🙂).
The forums here are a great place to find people who know what it’s like, and that’s like - to me - the warmest hug I’ve been missing 🤗🌺☺️

I hope it can feel that way for you too🙂

Take good care, and go gently 🦩☺️

Thank you @Former-Member for your kindness. It is a tough, lonely road but alcohol abuse was tougher. I'm happy to be here.

No worries @Cinders 🙂🌺

Yes, I think so too 🌺

And I’m glad you’re here - there’s lots of support and other interests to explore on the site, if you’d like to 🙂

Hi @Cinders how are you doing now? Thanks for the tagging @tyme. cinders, i think you have taken the correct decision. Don't think about friends who were with you in your good times. If they are real ones ,they even should be with you in your hard times. There are lot plus points in you. see now you have a good health and you are doing exercise. That's great .isn't it.

Hard times doesn't last for long. we are always with you❤️

Hi @Cinders ,

Just wanted to check-in with you today to see how you are going. Please know we are here for you if you need a chat.

tyme