Bipolar 2 diagnosis in my 30s.

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 later in life (31). How do you deal with a diagnosis this late? If I knew I had BP2 I feel like I would have made so many different choices.

I have struggled with my mental health since I was 14. I was first put on antidepressants at 18 and spent a lot of time in my 20s struggling with depression. In hindsight the signs of bipolar were there but hypomania was mostly pretty mild, depression was always my main problem. It’s difficult to explain, but even though I had many depressive episodes prior to my BP diagnosis, I always felt optimistic that each depressive episode might be me last one”. Each time I really thought I was getting better at managing depressive episodes and I was hopeful that one day, my mental health struggles would be a thing of the past.

I had a few good years, I got married and I had 2 children. I suffered severely with PND when my first child was born but we got through.

My marriage ended unexpectedly (due to infidelity) in 2021. Months after the initial discovery I had a full break down and was hospitalised and diagnosed with BP2.

I know some people say a diagnosis gave them relief or at least some acknowledgement. It hasn’t felt that way for me. Finding out I have bipolar feels like I’ve been given a life sentence.

I’ve lost hope that one day my mental health problems will be a thing of the past. Bipolar is permanent. I feel constant guilt and worry that I have passed my genes onto my children, if I had known I had bipolar I feel like I wouldn’t have had them. Most days life feels like it’s just something I have to withstand. While there are happy moments in my life and things I’m grateful for it feels like there is a constant dark cloud hanging over everything.
How do I accept that this is my life ? That my mental health diagnosis is permanent? Any hopes of dreams I had of a happy life feel no longer possible. I