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how do i escape the abuse?

maddisonSenior Contributor20 Dec 2014, 3:37 am AEDT

how do i escape the abuse?

My close friend, with whom I live is diagnosed schizophrenic. He has always been non compliant with treatment, and hospitalised 3 times in the last ten years.
He is currently at week 5 of being off his medication, and the most noticeable change in his behaviour is his increasing aggression. I am also noticing a slight increase in mood fluctuation.
It is extremely difficult to live with as I am becoming more fearful of his outbursts, 99% directed at me, when 10 mins earlier everything seemed fine.
His rants are full of hate, at me, at the tv, about his delusions, and he will yell as loud as he can.
His last episode, a couple of days ago, lasted for 2-3 days and was the most hateful, abusive, evil I had ever seen him.
In a moment of desperation I called the police, whom along with CAT (team) concluded that he was not a harm to himself or anyone else. I also spoke with his case worker, (don't really know her ver well) she said each time I tell her about his behaviour,she will document and eventually have a big enough file for him to be hospitalised, and meds re stabilised.
But how long will this take, and how many times can I call the police because I am being yelled at? I feel like an idiot, when there are ppl in real crisis, and I am wasting resources, especially when he couldn't be nicer as soon as they arrive.
It is his MI doing this, and I fear that things are only going to get worse, as his condition deterioates without treatment. But that could be six months from now. Am I meant to stay locked in my bedroom for the next 6 months, with my pets, just to avoid the possible abuse?
Because of how truly cruel he had been in the last week, I have become completely withdrawn, and more detached from his friendship that I feel I have ever been. He is so absorbed by his illness, stuck in his head, that I don't think he has really noticed, that I cannot support him as I had been.
This is a red flag to me, because in his self absorption he will no doubt within the next few days, need me for something (a lift somewhere, to vent to me etc) and them will become enraged when I am not at his beck and call as I have been in the past.
So, that is my story, and my question of what shoud I do?
Sincere thankyou for reading.

24 replies

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In response to: how do i escape the abuse?

BabooSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 8:18 pm AEDT

Re: thank you Re: how do i escape the abuse?

best thing for us to read- is a good plan.

It shows me you know exactally what you want to do 🙂

In response to: how do i escape the abuse?

Kiera80Senior Contributor03 Feb 2015, 9:23 am AEDT

Re: thank you Re: how do i escape the abuse?

@tulip I am so happy to hear that you have this plan in place and it sounds like a very good one. You have thought this out really well. Have you also looked into a respite centre in case things get really out of hand at home? Sometimes getting yourself away, even for just a few days, can help. Your husband can then rant and rave away to himself instead of always to you. That could also be part of looking after yourself a bit more.

I really hope your knee gets better soon too.

I love your analogy of ground hog day. Haven't we all had too many of those.

Am thinking of you.

In response to: how do i escape the abuse?

maddisonSenior Contributor03 Feb 2015, 6:04 pm AEDT

Re: how do i escape the abuse?

hi @tulip ,

I love so much what you have written! Of course, I feel sad that you have had to endure this emotionally exhausting life with your ex, but I am happy also, that you chose to express what you have been through, with strength and compassion.

My life has "somewhat" been calmer since I last wrote on here. I think, the initial 'shock/withdrawal' my housemate was experiencing from suddenly coming off meds after so many years has plateued it self, and the rants are becoming less frequent. There have still been times, when he has been innappropriate (yelling, or getting aggravated for no reason), and this affects me - making me feel hopeless, and isolated all over again. But, there has been no incidences, that were extreme as the last time I wrote on here.

If he is rude, or aggressive in his behaviour, I leave him be, and go do my own thing ( mostly t.v! or go for a walk or something)

I hope you can find some comfort and peace in your life, it is not easy, especially if you are actually physically impaired at the moment. It is also frustrating, that your ex is trying to admit himself to hospital, and being sent away (it makes me wonder, is he aware that his ilness requires intervention - more than usual at the moment? or is this behaviour of trying to admit himself, part of his disease?) It is sad that there are not more resources for someone with MI, and it is not fair that you have to care for him either. Is that what you meant when you wrote, that the more you give, the more he takes? That is how I feel at times, but, I MUST look out for myself, even if it seems as though I am being mean.

I think the most important thing is that you are safe.

Hope you have a good rest of week:)

In response to: Re: how do i escape the abuse?

NikNikSenior Contributor08 May 2015, 6:16 pm AEST

Re: how do i escape the abuse?

Hi @maddison & @tulip

I was responding to another discussion about the abuse one of our members is recieveing from her brother (read more here) and it reminded me of both of your stories and bravey.

How are things travelling for you both now?

Nik

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