BroodieNew Contributor
I am going to quit my job tomorrow
I’m having a really hard time mental health wise and physically.
And I am pretty sure I have to quit my job. I am very behind in everything and the stress, humiliation and burnout I am feeling is making every day at this job feel like a life or death situation.
I am having ‘I need to escape right NOW’ thoughts and feelings and I feel that even though quitting my job is drastic, it’s better than the other thoughts I am having.
I have some annual leave that can be paid out and while I don’t have any savings whatsoever, I am hoping I can live on my pay out until I am able to find a new job.
I live with my Mum and my brother. My brother is unemployed and we rent. My Mum also hasn’t got any savings or anything financially to survive on.
My Mum would very likely cover my rent to help me, but I don’t want to put her in that position. And if I don’t get a new job quickly enough, I won’t be eligible for Centrelink for a very long time.
I’m feeling so much distress every day. I have been over the workload that is set in my contract ever since I started and it just feels like even though it’s getting smaller that it’s not reducing my workload somehow and it’s not getting easier on me. Recently my manager offered some other people to take on some tasks for me. It feels too little, too late.
I know I need to see a mental health professional about this. I’ve had a few good ones in the past but I’ve had some terrible experiences lately that make me really not want to go back to them ever. The process of getting a mental health plan, and then the exhaustion of explaining your whole history and then having to get to trust someone. These days most mental health professionals want to see you out of there as soon as possible, but that’s not my style. I don’t think that short term interventions will help me. I did a a few sessions through our employee assistance program, but this did very little to help me. I was told to buy colouring books and relax more.
The point is, to my brain, it really feels like ‘quit your job or die’. I know that this is not true, and I have been trying to tell my brain that this is not true, but it’s not sinking in.
The overwhelming feeling of stress, panic and shame is still there when I’m at work. I can barely concentrate on anything at work, which puts me even further behind. I feel like I have far too much expected of me in my role.
