new years eve thoughts

hello @Former-Member

yes i understand your feeling that way.

i think that is what new years eve represents for so many of us who are struggling with our emotions.

when i am at my worse I now tell myself that I am feeling anxiety, failure, guilt, etc etc etc however i am not ready to explore these feelings at this time. I am not going to bury them. I am just going to move them over to the left where i have a shelf. for some bizarre reason it is always on the left. that shelf must be buckling with the load,

perhaps i am protecting my heart.

So effectively what I am doing is choosing not to listen to or act on the incessant chatter in my chaotic mind. i am just telling myself that it is there and that is fine it is not going to overtake me or affect me at this time.

When I am ready I will go back and break it down or it may appear back. The patterned thinking is very clever. i have built up this web for many many years.

Today it is not going to entrap me.

one day at a time.

fear of the future anxiety of course. again patterned thinking. so as i have been told recently i am going to focus on my breathing. i must remember to breathe from my tummy not my chest. when i forget to do this and have chest tightness or pain i put my hand on my tummy and start again until i am calm.

the fear cannot hurt me only if i allow it to. I will not let it hurt me. i have carried it too long now.

This wonderful group of companions I have met on here, each so rare and beautiful in their own way are with me in my thoughts at different fleeting moments.

The reason for that is because I now have people who are reading my words , responding therefore i am feeling heard.

so know that throughout these 48 hours your companions , friends, dear ones, are with you tucked in to your heart. just gently pat your heart to remind you. feel the moment. then remember to breathe and have calm.

you are not alone in this

will be thinking of you remember xxxxxx

I love reading your calm reflective posts @Former-Member

Their wisdom seeps into me.

Hi @Former-Member

New years eve for me is always a time of reflecting back on the year it was. But this year hasn't been a good year. A major change was putting my mother in law in aged care in Feb due to dementia. After living with us for 20 yrs it was a huge adjustment.

I often look back and think of all the negatives because i can't find any posiitives. But I guess finding a new psychologist is positive as she sounds like she is willing to help me. Losing my old therapist was a real blow especially after 5 years.

Being admitted into hospital three times this year (2 for mental health, one for asthma) has been hard financially.

But I am staying positive for next year with a change of house, children moving out and seeing what the year brings.

My year this year wasn't a good year so i am hoping that the new year brings health, less struggle on my mental health and happiness.

Hi BlueBay,

Your name was mentioned to me as someone who's had issued with BPD, would you be able to chat about that?

Kind regards 🙂

Scuse my sista @Former-Member @BlueBay @Kurra and @notmyrealname1

she has just found her locus of control ... .. or ... she is drunk

Happy NY to yall