D.I.D....

Hi @Carol61,

I read through your post and it sounds distressing to be confronted by your daughter's angry alter so frequently. It would be incredibly stressful and traumatic to watch your daughter go through this. The impact on you must be awful. I would like to encourage you to call the SANE Help Centre to talk to one of counsellors for emotional support but also to get some more practical support.

It's great that you have reached out to the forum community and I hope you feel supported here.

Warmest regards,

tropicalsun

Thank you so much for that input @Smc . It has helped me too.

I have heard it said that people with NPD have two alters - the trapped and sealed in inner child, and an alter who replaces them for the rest of their life who will switch masks during the various stages of the NPD cycle of abuse from the "love-bombing" phase to "The Discard". What you have described makes sense of that.

@Carol61 I hope the Sane Help Centre can help you with your personal safety. I am concerned about your vulnerability to the hostile alter too .....

@Faith-and-Hope, I've had occasional glimpses of the "scared child" part of my NPD ex-friend. 😞

Because the NPD cycle results in other people being exploited and abused, it's sometimes difficult to see the damaged and hurting person sheltering inside. It's so hard trying to put in place self protection and hold the person responsible for their actions while not losing sight of the fact that they are seriously mentally unwell.

That is absolutely correct @Smc ...,, I have a psychologist friend who says she is continually astounded at the amount of damage that people suffering from NPD can inflict in the lives of those around them ..... 😔 .... and it is extremely rare that they seek the diagnosis and treatment that can improve their lives and others.

@Smc

Have been wondering how you were getting on and just caching up on your thread. Trust the current round of assessments go as well as they can 🙏

Hi @Determined.

General ups and downs. Older Daughter is still unwell with what appears to be genuine physical problems, but we're still not sure if the level of pain she reports is "over-reported", and we continue to be concerned at how many strong painkillers she takes. Younger Daughter is off visiting a friend and due home tomorrow. She's got a lot happening that she's not talking about with us... in part that's just teenager-hood, but we think she's keeping stuff quiet that we probably need to know about.

All being well, we're traveling up to see my parents next weekend for a few days. Self, Hubby, Sister and Younger Daughter. So we need to stay cough and sniffle free so that they'll let us into the aged care home. No small ask in winter! I'm hoping that the trip up might open some conversations with Younger Daughter.

Me... I'm a bit flat at the moment, not sleeping very well. Likewise Hubby.

Assessments... first two appointments have been and gone for Older Daughter. Next one is Hubby and I to give a picture of early childhood, and, I'm guessing, general family dynamics. We haven't heard from them yet to make a time. Expecting that will be an emotionally exhausting day.

❤️ @Smc .....

@Smc 🙏

@Smc thinking of you and family 🙏

Hi @Determined, thanks.

More of the same happening here. Older Daughter's in and out of ER for one reason or another, mostly maybe-physical problems. Getting a fair bit of teenage angst from Younger Daughter, which is surprisingly hard. I know it goes with the age, but I'd so much like it if she was willing to talk with us, not just argue. And maybe occasionally have some fun with us.