D.I.D....

@Determined, feeling sad about the DSP application. It wasn't in our "hopes" list. It's a "last resort" necessity.

Both Hubby and I had plans for making a living from our own businesses and our own skills, so that we could work together at home, be available as needed for family, and be self supporting. But "available for family" has kind of dwarfed the other aims. 😞

It's more than not being able to earn a living, it's also about us reaching a point where we're too drained out to enjoy using our creative abilities. And there's a whole social thing around it too, all the various "artists and vagabonds" who turn up here there and everywhere sharing their talents and the results thereof. We've still got a foot in that world, but feel a little out of place when we see others moving ahead while we're struggling not to lose yet more ground.

We keep hoping that one day we'll be able to pick up more or less where we've left off, but we don't know if or when that will be.

The arts and artisans social world is a curious one. You rub shoulders with everyone from passionate but poor as church mice crafters through to successful, recognised artists/artisans who turn up in high level exhibitions, top galleries, and in the pages of decorator and/or arts magazines. Across the other side of the table, there's keen beginners who haven't got two coins together to buy your work, but avidly take in every scrap of how-to advice that you give them, there's literal millionaires who may buy your work, and there's the inbetweeners of various levels of wealth who are most likely to be your customers, either by stretching the budget to fit in something special, or maybe the budget is roomy enough that they can happily buy, but not so roomy that they do so without a second thought. And among both groups, there's such a mixture of cultures and backgrounds and educational histories and work and life experience... The commonality of making pulling all of us together.

@Smc just catching up on your thread and wanted to reach out and send you all my heart felt support ... as carers of loved ones it’s not a choice we made for our loved ones to be unwell and yet it influences so many of our choices and impacts our abilities to live our own lives to varying extents on various areas - just wanted to acknowledge what a beautiful soul you are for supporting your daughter xx

x Thank you @Sophie1.

Understand those emotions @Smc , I felt the same when transitioning to carer payment 😔

I would much rather support my family financially but reached a point of fatigue where it is not possible to do that. Work that I once loved and thrived on had become a burden and something I hated. Unfortunately I wont get back to that as the industry has moved on without me. Last bit of that is gone with the recent lapsing of an accreditation due to inactivity.

And yes the social thing is a big one. I am thankful to have a job at the uni even if it does feel like a pretend job as I can tell people I am doing something by way of employment.

Tninking of you in all of this.

We don't meet carer payment requirements, because she doesn't live with us, and even though she sometimes needs a high level of care, those times are intermittent, not daily. So the extra bit thrown in there is that we've both ended up reaching the point of psychological exhaustion.
Not saying this to belittle carers payments at all. But it's crazy that we can be worn to the point of "disability" and still not meet C'link carers criteria??
But the flipside is that MHS have started putting out feelers for getting extra support for our carer role. Should have happened sooner, didn't. Hopefully something good comes out of it now.

@Determined- I got a letter from the tax department a month or two ago saying that my business name had been deregistered due to lack of business activity. 😞 That was hard, so I think I get how you feel about the accreditation lapsing.

I'll probably be able to pick mine up again in the future. The business was registered as a sole trader under my own name- can do that again. My equipment and materials are still sitting there, getting dusty, and all the clays and glazes have dried out, but a good clean up, some minor maintenance and "just add water", they'll be up and running again.

Bit trickier for you. What do you expect you'll do- retrain in your original field, or move into a different area of employment?

I have a friend who only received an adequate level of support and care when she reached carer’s burnout and became a patient herself, and her husband too. It’s so sad that it comes to that, and so short-sighted. It’s now costing Centrelink much more to provide emergency and ongoing support to that family than it would have to have gotten the support level right in the first place, and it wasn’t through lack of communicating on my friend’s part. I think there are adjustments needed for the criteria, and people in decision-making positions need to look beyond the paperwork to what is happening to the people themselves.

Hugs n hugs Hon 😔💜

@Faith-and-Hope yep....

I think it's part of a mindset that caring isn't all that important or onerous, and really "these people" would be better off getting a "real job".

When I applied for carers payments years ago, while Older Daughter was still at home with us, I was feeling bad about not earning a living, but my doctor very adamantly pointed out to me that the government got well beyond a fair return for the payment, due to the much higher cost to them if they had to get professionals to do what we were doing.

On one level, we'd do it anyway, because they're family. You don't just dump them and run. But in doing so, we forfeit the option of working, and have to deal with all the financial, social and personal consequences of that.

Our disabled daughter’s needs are far more obvious and defined by mental and physical limitations, above the baseline for her condition which is well-recognised. Mental health is so much different. Her mental health is being affected by our situation too, but without a diagnosis, I am actually a carer / supporter for mental health issues in the four still-at-home family members.

When doctors and therapists realise that they become alarmed, but without diagnosis of “the big one” there is no official recognition of that. It’s all hidden while the illness remains hidden.

In your situation there must be so little understanding about your dayghter’s condition that it too is somewhat invisible ..... only the symptoms can be seen, but without true context they are not read properly, or not at all.