Feeling gutted. I'm totally unreasonable with myself. When something hard happens and I handle it OK- full on adrenaline crisis mode perhaps, but I (or we... Hubby's in this with me) manage to pull it together.. and then I completely forget the "after crash" that happens a day or two down the track once the brain's actually had time to more-or-less process it all.
I got a phone call this morning about an incident between Younger Daughter and another school kid. She's been reported as the agressor, I'm suspicious there may have been some goading but that doesn't completey let her off the hook.
Hassle is, this happened on Friday when we were doing our big emergency surgery run. We weren't there when she got home from school, the next day was full, the day after it less so, but we were all kind of "playing turtle" (hiding in our shells) in our own ways. She hasn't really had a chance to talk with us, and may have felt like she shouldn't load us up with anything else. Or been afraid of getting in trouble... maybe a bit of both.
It sounds like a minor incident, and the lady who rang us about it was very sympathetic and reasonable. I filled her in briefly on what's happening here, and asked her to please deal with it gently. Which I think she will.
But it's left me teary, which I wasn't ready for. Straw that broke the camel's back I guess. 😞
I've also got sitting in the back of my mind a phonecall from my Mum's doctor. She's concerned that the infected area on Mum's leg has gotten worse, and has been at the "worse" stage for about a month now instead of contracting back to the area they'd previously confined it to. I'm not confident it will ever really "get better", and so containment through good management is about the best I'm hoping for. However, there's the possibility that the larger area may become its "new normal", and whenever there's a chronic infection, there's risk of dangerous (possibly deadly) secondary infections. Which is what the doctor is worried about too.
That's another thing I haven't really been able to process yet. I can't travel up there right now- I wouldn't cope. I'm not even really at a point yet where I can cope with making a phone call. But the chance to have a private conversation with Mum's doctor was helpful. I was able to fill her in on some of the other stuff we're dealing with, and I also let her know that we don't tell Mum all the fine details because she gets so worried, to the point of panicky.
So it's a bit of everything at once here. Both Hubby and I are trying to do some everyday-normal stuff, but I'm feeling ill from emotional exhaustion, and I think he's much the same.
