Relationship with my sister broke down due to inheritance issues

Hi there,

Recently I got so distressed and emotional after returning from trip to China. My father passed away during COVID in 2020 and my mum passed away in 2015. They left two properties without a will.

At the end of 2023, I went back to China for the first time after 5years of pandemic and being unable to travel internationally. I stayed with my sister, who is 2years older than me, during the trip. I was expecting to discuss the inheritance of my parents properties with her as she talked about it when my father was in his last days, but we didn’t go into details at that time. However, when I discussed with her this time and told her that i could leave the properties with her and she could give me some money according to the market value of the properties. To my surprise, She started to lash out at me, blaming me selfish and deserving nothing from my parents properties. She claimed that I didn’t share any responsibility for looking after my parents therefore I shouldn’t get a cent from their inheritance. I was so shocked to hear that because she has never talked about it before and also my parents moved to live with my sister when she had her child in 2001, their intention was to look after her instead. Both my parents had high retirement salaries when they lived with my sister, they were diligent hardworking people, to my knowledge, it was they looking after my sisters family. When my mum suddenly diagnosed with cancer in 2014 and passed away in 2015. I flew back several times to look after her and be with her until she passed. Only when my father passed away I was unable to return because of the closure of the border, my sister hired a carer to look after my dad. I regret that I didn’t insist on giving money to her during this time.

I immigrated to Australia in 2005, because my sister has always well off than me and whenever I wanted to give my parents money they refused to accept.

I have checked the relevant laws about this in China, it says children who lived with the parents and took care of them can get more when dividing the inheritance. Children who don’t live with the parents can still get smaller share of the inheritance.

since that alteration, I have been avoiding to talk with my sister. But whenever I think about it, I feel sad and want to cry. I don’t know how to talk with my sister again, we have never been close and this just push us even more apart. I think her deny of my inheritance is denying my existence in the family. I’m kind of stuck in this bad feeling and can’t get over it. If anyone has the same issue or could give me some advice, I would appreciate your sharing or advice.