In need of an encouraging word...or eight

Good afternoon,

Or at least I'm trying to make it one! I've been in a bit of a spin over the past month. I've been struggling with relationships with family, friends, neighbours, members of clubs to which I belong, and now especially with my life partner. I've just been so darn prickly from a combination of mental illness flare ups and life circumstances mostly beyond my control.

Every little criticism and comment at the moment triggers the long-term shame I've been carrying from events in my life which occurred from a decade ago and back as far as my youth. In response I've been 'shame cleaning' the house. I can't seem to stop cleaning, laundering, bathing, washing my hands. I manage to sit still for periods and rest but then I see something that sets me off. Needless to say I'm challenging to live with at the moment. I know it will pass and maybe even soon. I'm also fluctuating from ravenous hunger to being off food completely in the meantime but eating well when I can. My sleep is ok and thank goodness for that.

I just got up from a nap just to rest my body and mind. I was sinking into dark thoughts so got up to write a note here instead. In a few days I will be able to make an appointment to see my psychiatrist for professional guidance. The level of emotional pain and fear I'm feeling right now makes picking up the phone seem impossible.

Thanks for reading on. I hope to receive a few encouraging words just to help keep my spirits up during these next few days. On a brighter note it's sunny and warm where I am today and the blue sky out my window is a good reason to smile!