Dear Emstar,
Welcome to thiscommunity where we try to support you and help you through the bad times. You sound as if you are going through an absolutely terrible time. Have you discussed this with your doctor (who is prescribing the anti-depressants)? In the early stages of pregnancy your mood can be quite disrupted by the hormonal changes in your body, and it is best to check with your doctor whether or not you need to make any changes to your medcaton at this time. Make an apointment as soon as you can - say it is urgent- because you are not doing you or your baby any good going on like this.
Of course you are a good person, you are just at the mercy of hormonal changes and chemical imbalances in the brain. You need to see your doctor NOW to sort through these issues and get back on track. I am sure he/she can prescribe sleeping medication which is safe in pregnancy. There are also anti-anxiety medications which can be taken to help calm you and down.
If it helps to know, I have 4 children in their 20's now and fine people. And by the way I did not get post-natal depression so don't worry about that unneccesarily. I feel for you caught up in this awful anxiety, but there are treatments available, so get onto your doctor and seek some help as soon as you can. I wish you all the best,
Ellu