Nothing

Oh @Former-Member thats no good. I can't believe that they couldn't manage that script for you. I can understand how the work thing is causing anxiety. Just being there today would have bought up lots of feelings. Do you have long service leave at all coming up? Just a thought but I'd imagine after having kids you've got a bit to go.

Here listening and hearing your anguish 💜🤗💐

hi @Former-Member

no i used up my leave in 2015 when i couldnt work.

its so hard to take leave as a teacher, unless i just left, i'd still need to write plans and programs for the class im responsible for and i'd still have to take my kids there everyday. i just cant see a way to make anything work. my head is exhausting.

lj

That's a bummer @Former-Member 😩. Does your principal know and are they supportive?

I know work is just one part of the equation but I guess it would help to have more time to help you manage things better while you are still going through all the other huge stresses. I can see why you can see the light, it's all so intense without having all the PTSD to deal with. So I'm thinking of you and sending best wishes because I have faith that one day it will get easier and you'll be able to breathe again. Walking with you until you can 💜🤗

Thanks @Former-Member

i need to i know... everyone keeps tellin me the same but struggling to get out.. I will take dog for a walk though and maybe out on the beach. i've actually been invited to a bbq tomorrow night for the first time (by work people), and im panicking... i know i should go... but there might be quesitons about stuff/situations that i cant handle and i havent 'socialised' in a long time.

Hi @Former-Member

I do have some understanding of the anxiety you are feeling in regards to work. I'm putting off going to school because I'm really unsure of what I am feeling and how I am going to cope if I go back. I went to school about 4 times during the last term last year (mostly to meet with the principal with certificates etc.). I didn't want to see any of the kids and avoided my colleagues as much as possible. Each time I was so anxious I couldn't drive home for some time afterwards. The last two times I went was to catch up with some of the kids and for end of year assembly. Even though they were really excited to see me I was totally overwhelmed and had to leave early. I found that part the most difficult to deal with - I couldn't deal with the kids being so happy to see me`so I have no idea how I'm going to be able to handle all the other expectations and parts of the job if I go back.

Have you checked out your income insurance yet?

Hi @Zoe7

yes! we're starting a new online writing assessment thing this year too which is just freaking me out as well.

I'm sorry things are so overwhelming for you for work as well. i know there's parts of work that are good to me... i have looked at the income insurance but theres so much in order to do it, have to be unpaid for 90 days or something before they will start to pay it. and cant recieve an income during that time (so i assume that that includes centrelink parenting pension ) and there is no way we could survive to do that... i cant get parenting pension unless i quit and lose my permanency. everything is impossible. i dont have any family and so noone to help out with anything. i live in a education department house and if i dont work id also have to move. feeling very trapped.

lj