Nothing

Well, I was really hoping for an early night tonight, as I have to get up early tomorrow/today.

Just took an extra sleep med and waiting for it to work.

Thought I'd write some things down and hoping it will help me cope with "stuff", so that I can then hopefully sleep.

Today I was triggered by a song that was playing in a shop.

My first reaction was, I need to get out of here quick, but my daughter had to buy something in there and I didn't want to have to explain why I needed to get out of there.

I felt like crying, but managed to keep the tears hidden.

It's amazing how I try to keep my past in the past and not think about it anymore (because I have had lots of good counselling). Yet still, many years later a song can take me back to a very traumatic rape, by other men, one of them had drugged me. This is another incidence to the previous one I mentioned.

One of the guys was married and was working for the guy I was going out with at the time. (the guy I was going out with was not involved at all). I was invited back to this guys house with his lovely wife. My boyfriend had to work and he had the impression that this guy and his wife were ok and seemed nice people. I was drugged, and attacked by him and some others. I was so drugged that I couldn't fight back. It was a terribly traumatic experience for me, yet again. This man had an argument with his lovely wife and she disappeared.

I carried shame and guilt for many, many years later, for something that was not my fault at all. I was attacked by creeps. I had no chance to fight back, whatsoever.

Sorry, if this is not nice for you to read. I'm just wondering if the triggering happens to others on the forum, and I'm wondering if the triggering ever ends?