JlolSenior Contributor
What if the help available isn't enough?
Hi all,
For a few years I was in what was later called an emotionally abusive relationship. I won't go into detail, but it had a huge impact on me and my confidence and personality were greatly affected. I started developing PTSD from it.
I went to a trauma-informed psychologist who told me that if I was to stay in the relationship I would die. Half a year after that conversation, I reached breaking point, packed a bag and left and stayed at an aunts place, where I have been the last 6 months.
This whole thing - being in a psychologically abusive relationship, being consistently manipulated and made to feel like everything is your fault, being made to feel like you're the worst person on earth for then leaving that situation, then being semi-homeless, having your finances bound up with someone who hates you, being laughed at or not taken seriously by DV support services (because I am a man) - has taken a massive, massive toll on my mental health.
I feel so depressed that I can't think or do anything.
The trauma-informed psychologist I was seeing said she could no longer support me and urged me to go to hospital. I presented at 2 different public hospitals but was turned away both times. I then used the one-off private health insurance MH waiver to go to a private hospital, but received no support there other than a couple of visits from a psychiatrist which I was doing outside of hospital anyway. The experience was very detrimental for me as I was left alone in a room with my own issues and thoughts for days with few distractions.
I started seeing a new psychologist but they feel frustrated and at a loss too. In fact last session they suggested I try to go to hospital again.
I am so very, very broken and know I am getting worse. I feel like I'm putting my hand up for help but the level of help out there simply isn't enough to stop me from getting sicker.
What do I do?