@BlueBay complex ptsd is chronic repeated and/or prolonged trauma over which the person has no control.This can be the same type of trauma happening again and again, as well as two or more different traumatic experiences. Childhood SA, ongoing domestic violence, etc. can all contribute.
@Former-Member
I agree it is very difficult carrying the hurt and scars. I have also been dealing with Complex PTSD and find the mask I wear is very similar to yours. You can't explain to anyone that what you see on the outside is not what is beneath the surface. Trying to be happy and upbeat - especially at work - just doesn't mesh with the inside that seems to die a little bit more each day. I am lucky to have a great GP and psychologist that are supporting me but the sessions with the psych often make me feel so much worse! There is so much to deal with that most days you don't know where to start. Other days it is so overwhelming that you just want it to stop. You can't explain it to anyone because you don't trust anyone enough to let them in. Your own little world seems to get smaller and smaller (and more isolating) every day.
Everyone copes with 'bad things' happening in their life differently but when there is so much to deal with it just adds to the hopeless feeling.
My thoughts are with you and although I don't know your exact situation I empathise with your struggle. 
