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Healing whilst still living?

Healing whilst still living?

Hey again,

I know I have a long journey ahead of me to healing from complex trauma but I can't help feel like I can't live my life how I want to when what I want is so hard to know because of the trauma. Does anyone else feel like you need to be "fixed" to then be able to live your life the way you want? Is that even a state that exists; one where you feel more in control. I hate the thought of things being slightly hard forever and it not being my choice/fault.

Any thoughts or advice is welcome 🙂

4 replies

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In response to: Healing whilst still living?

Re: Healing whilst still living?

@Ot3

I'm not sure I'm much help but I can certainly relate to what you're saying.

I'm currently trying to figure out how I can find the space to work on myself without pushing the rest of the world away - my friends and family may not understand if I just dissapear to 'find myself'.

But it's kinda just something that needs to be done.

I'm really not sure how to do both at the same time... but I'm guessing it's how the rest of the world does it day to day? I've never really been any good at that though. I usually do the heck out of something to the exclusion of all else then pick up the pieces later. Not ideal. So like I said, maybe I'm not great help with this one.

My partner and counsellor have both suggested that I take some time from every day to 'ground' myself. One of my favourite things to do in the summer is put my feet in the water at the beach and just reflect on the bigger picture. Put down the details for a while and just wonder and appreciate the scope of it all for a while.

Easier said than done a lot of the time. But once I'm out the door it's usually a good decision and I kick myself for not doing it more often!

Hope you find what you need to get through it.

~ K

In response to: Re: Healing whilst still living?

Re: Healing whilst still living?

hey @KirSa_EnigmA ,

thanks for writing back! I totally get the grounding thing. Especially when it rains, I like to just stop and listen, and watch, and smell, and feel it. It's so hard to want to do other grounding things like this like you suggested, when I feel like there's no overall fix or anything that makes me feel better generally. Like I've been recommended to do self-care, and to be aware of myself, but it's so disheartening to just have to 'stick it out' without knowing when the time or if a time will come that I'm feeling more in control of myself and my life.

In response to: Re: Healing whilst still living?

Re: Healing whilst still living?

Sometimes I feel that if we just break things down into moments, it is rather helpful. When we are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel disheartened about the prospect of a time when we will feel more in control of ourselves and our lives, we bring our attention back to this present moment in time, comforting and reassuring ourselves that in this moment we are okay and doing the best we can. Acknowledging that we are bravely facing each day on a journey of healing from trauma, not knowing its end but learning along the way how to soothe ourselves, empower ourselves, and claim our right to live our lives as we choose, one moment at a time.

In response to: Re: Healing whilst still living?

Re: Healing whilst still living?

@Ot3 absolutely. Easier said than done isn't it!

Honestly, I just try and use the time I have in that space to forget everything else for a while. Just let it all fall away and feel the water, the sun, and the sand between my toes.

Little moments like that can make the rest seem a little less challenging.

~ K

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