Toxic music group dynamics

Hello, I'm new here. I'm working in a band playing original material, mostly mine. One of the band members is my age, the other is about 16 years younger than us. (3 piece). A pattern has emerged over about a year of being together, where the member my age will oppose or chip away at things I suggest - even organization-wise, and squash perfectly good ideas. I know it sounds like a no-brainer - remove him... but the actual music we make is fantastic, he supplies really good vocal harmonies, etc. He has also been in semi-successful outfits in the past. I just find all joy in doing my songs is sapped with the constant arrogance, "I know better", refusal to discuss emotional conflict, etc. I have just confided in the younger band member that it's "doing my head in", trying to organize things. Unfortunately, he is very much a people-pleaser and identified himself early on as "zero-conflict" when there was a dispute between us elder two.

It's a bit hard to articulate... but I find myself mentally clenching up for opposition from this guy. It really takes overy my mind for periods of time. I also think he is well-aware of his effect. I think there may be some very narcissistic stuff in his personality.

Anyway, trying to find ways to vent... can't see my psychologist for several weeks, there is one old friend who used to manage a band who has been really kind.

Even trying to decide on a 90min cafe meeting gets turned into a grandstanding moment for my band "mate", forcing his view that meetings should be short and focussed.

I really feel like quitting. I would be taking my songs with me of course. It's so hard because in actual performance and even physically rehearsing, things sound so good! But I have never been in a more toxic, dysfunctional situation band-wise. And I am not the kind of person who can just plough through.

Thank you for reading.

M