APPROACHING SURE?

@TeejThank you for your flowers and bringing me back to this thread and myself. I am still far from sure about things but life keeps moving along.

I have only reread half the thread (will do the rest later) but I am overwhelmed by all the love and support I have received here from you ... you as former member ..

and our sages @Faith-and-Hope @Kurra and @Owlunar I never did put that complaint in about leaving the Roman Catholic Church. Just too much happening this year with myself, my brother dying and my son's struggles. Guess there is some balance with all the business about Pell in the news.

and @Former-Member Still at work full time, with littlies. That is an impressive gig LADY.

@Former-Member remember playing piano with your niece? Way back before your mum died? You wrote about it here.

@Zoe7 @Former-Member @PhoenixRising where is your pic ??

Thank you all for supporting me through a very difficult 2017. Now I have a mh team but it was all of you who helped me through to be still here. I really do not feel as suicidal as I used. I may feel wobbly, delicate, wonky etc etc etc ...Thanks for Bearing with me.

I have been looking behind at culture and motivations styles. Trying to understand the inexplicable. Perhaps that is my denial, resistance to accepting the neglect and the grief. I have been in the bargaining stage for a long time. If I understand it will be different. It is and it isn't.

My tulip distraction phase ...

Thank You

Not the tulips @Jupiter... they are just from the internet.

My non rich brother was the talented one visually, especially with his leadlight. Silly boy did not realise how much I loved him and that it could have been enough. They are both gone now. I need to look forward more now ... and yes be in the present ... a bit.

Love that you go through phases too @Appleblossom. You know this thread brings me back in time too. There was a phase that I was even more naive but bigger and bolder, and much braver. I dived in to support whenever I could and valued learning about others so much ( I still do but in a much more timid way now). I think you bought out some of the best in me. Lots has happened for both of us since. I think that this goes for @Former-Member too. In tying to shape the latest version of teej I think I’d like to feel that sense of confidence again to just talk from my heart without all the fears I’ve since developed. I think that we’ll never get to sure but it’s still a heck of a trip trying 🤗💜😜😊

Yes lets embrace our different phases @Teej. There are somethings that are core, but being open to new influences and others is important. I had to learn to drop protective walls and fear and learn a few ways of doing that.

Oh thats right @Phoenix_Rising darn I forget the dash if not prompted.

Thinking of thanking you too.

@Former-Memberwe were posting together. Yeah ... the family out there is different to the one we imagaina and wish for, but that moment there was something good, generated by you through music. Music is like that, epehemeral. It passes. She has gone, your mum and everybody is grieving. They cannot give you much. Do what you need to do, but dont turn yourself into a pretzel. You have done enough, when it is time, focus on grabbing the rest of your life.

I stay strong with my sisters input, but no pressure. @Former-Member I really believe that we ALL need freedom to go where and when our heart calls.