Partner with depression who refuses to get help

Hello, I am wondering if someone in this group has experienced being in a relationship with a depressed partner who refuses to try anything to get help and whether someone might be out there who can share their experiences.

After years of educating myself on depression, being patient, dealing with outbursts of aggression and trying to find ways to support including going through therapy to remain strong I finally do not know anymore what else I can do.

My partner has had depression long before we met in a previous relationship, he has got two kids under 10, his own company that is not going too well and huge financial problems. His family is far away from Australia and he has also not had a good relationship with his parents. His friends do not know about any of these issues and he believes there is nothing that can be done to improve his situation.

He is leaning on me very heavily and lashes out when I am not available at all times accusing me that I don’t care which hurts because I do care a lot. It is starting to have an impact on my own health as I feel like I can’t talk about it with friends again and again and all the self-care is now just keeping me going but I feel very tired and my body is aching.

He keeps crashing and then usually gets angry or disappears and then apologises again and says that I deserve better and that I don’t have to be with him. I can see why he feels overwhelmed but don’t know what to suggest anymore. I have looked up numbers for helplines including financial help but he is not taking any action.

would be grateful for any suggestions if anyone has had a similar experience.