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Big Emotions

JPEG1998Senior Contributor21 Dec 2023, 6:44 pm AEDT

Big Emotions

Hi all,

It's JPEG1998 again.

I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the fact that I am experiencing some pretty BIG EMOTIONS surrounding a particular individual that I have taken a serious liking towards. Put simply, I have a crush on them. I first came across them* last year (I refuse to share their pronouns on here in fear of being discovered by them or someone they know. All you need to know is that I personally am heterosexual). I have seen them on a number of occasions and we have made some small talk with one another, despite not really knowing each other that well. I think they're just being polite though, and that they do not feel the same ay towards me. But, I found them on social media and they don't appear to be in a relationship, judging by the photos that I have seen. I don't condone stalking so I have made a pledge to myself and my friends that I will not stalk them on social media again. I think this person in particular sexy and I want to go out on a date with them. The only problem I have is that I have an extreme fear of being rejected by them. They've looked at me once and then looked away when I caught them.

I'm sorry. I don't really know what else to comment on here. Some advice would be highly appreciated!

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In response to: Big Emotions

JynxModerator21 Dec 2023, 8:09 pm AEDT

Re: Big Emotions

Hey @JPEG1998!!

Big Emotions™️ huh? I know those feels all too well! And all too frequently in my past, I have neglected to act on them and ended up making things worse for myself, and have truly let myself get needlessly hurt by these situations.

It took a while, but I came to realise that by fearing rejection, and never actually telling people how I felt, it meant that I ended up in the exact same position as if they'd rejected me anyway - us not getting together and sharing our lives in the ways I had pictured sooo many times. But by not telling them how I felt, it was often months or years of me pining and refusing to act on my feelings, and becoming more and more distressed over that time too. Funnily enough, they noticed this change in my behaviour, and it often ended up being what drove them away from me. If I'd told them of my feelings from the beginning, I would have been able to get over them and move on with my life way more quickly too!

Funnily enough, the first time I did actually finally admit my feelings to someone, they rejected me! It felt like a deep wound, I didn't know if I'd ever recover. But because I was open with them, we were able to work through it together and that person is still in my life!! If I hadn't told them, I'd never have had the chance to actually move on.

Rejection does hurt, for sure. But I've learned that it is easier to rip that bandaid off quick, than it is to sit for ages in uncertainty and fear. And the more I've been rejected, the less it hurts too, because I'm better at reminding myself that their rejection of me doesn't reflect my own worth, it only reflects on them, and just means that we weren't a good match anyway.

This is all my own personal stuff of course, but I hope by sharing it can help inspire you to make a choice as to what you want to do.