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Wow @GothMum that was a train full of the goods.

Your workers might be very genuine when they say you are inspriring ... but there are issues about personal relationships and MH work.

I felt a bit like you wanting irl relationships with my early psychiatrists etc and became thrilled when I would bump into ex doctors or psychologist in my real life and in their real life ... it happened quite a few times .. at a secondary school, a folk music camp, a bookshop, a concert, enough to make me notice but not to enable ongoing friendship ... I am ok with that now ... in the past I kept hoping ... I think the point was that I yearned for a similar level of intelligent conversation as I had shared with them ... that yearning has not changed ... but is being met by different people ... here on the forums and in my life ...

I am impressed by your relationship with your GP ... I tend to feel to scared or respectful to call them outside of set times ... and they have to really make me feel welcome ... before i will ...

Hope we all have a gooder day tomorrow ... cheers

@GothMum - hope your days get as good as they can be. it has been lovely meeting you here and hope you will continue to visit the forums, thanks for your openness, honesty and lovely way with words.

I'd like to say I can relate to the sense of loneliness you feel and the internal chatter you live with. I also have, when I'm 'doing' sober, a not quite OCD. My life becomes very regimented. And I understand if you feel exhausted from just existing.

I'd also like to say "keep your chin up" but I wonder whether they're just hollow words. I know those things just aren't going to go away.

For mine, I found meditation and for a while, in the early days, some other New Age things like "Cutting the Ties that Bind" to be a great pro-active pursuit. I hope you can find love, not necessarily in a relationship but just even maybe in a platonic sense.

I hope things can improve with you and keep your sense of humour with you.