FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Out of options for my brother

Out of options for my brother

Hi Everyone, not sure if I'm in the right space but I needed to get this off my chest, maybe someone else is in a similar situation and we can encourage each other. I'm from Belgium but have lived in Australia for 17 years, my life is here and is good. Mum is with me, she beat cancer 3 years ago but is still a little frail. My brother is schizophrenic with paranoia and he sometimes behaves like a sociopath, he's still in Belgium by choice, lives on his own, says he follows his treatment. He's on a disability pension, no financial issues, we regularly send him money so he's extra comfortable. No family left there apart from old/ ill relatives. We're in our 40s. He's had two serious crises in the past year when the police put him in the psychiatric hospital, the second time just recently for vandalism. The psychiatrist wanted to keep him for a year but my brother got a lawyer and got out, despite having received an eviction notice from his landlord due to his anti-social behaviour. He refuses to accept his condition, finds himself charming and cannot understand why everyone around him is avoiding him, sometimes scared of him (I FaceTime daily with him and it's sometimes difficult but my doctor put me on SSRI and see a psychologist every week to help) He's going to end up on the street, he's trying to find another apartment but is obsessed with living in the city where it's impossible to find anything. He just won't listen when we tell him to broaden his search. We've spoken to the psychiatrist, social workers, a mobile mental health support team in his region, they can't do anything to help against his will. I have tried everything I could think of to help from afar and I draw the line at moving back to Belgium to look after him as this would destroy me (I couldn't get out of that country quick enough 17 years ago and my whole life is in Australia) So there's constant worry, anxiety, helplessness, guilt, I grind my teeth so much my jaw is always sore, insomnia... I'm exhausted. You're probably all familiar with these feelings.

If you made it to the end of this long message, thank you for reading.

12 replies

11 - 12 of 12

In response to: Out of options for my brother

Re: Out of options for my brother

Hey there @Kote ,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you are doing what you can to both support your family and look after yourself.

I'm so glad you have been able to reach out and share with the community here.

We look forward to seeing you around!

In response to: Out of options for my brother

Re: Out of options for my brother

Hi @Kote ,

Thank you very much for your kind words, it really helps to have lovely people in similar situations reinforce the idea that I need to look after myself and that talking to my brother every day is actually enough, I shouldn't panic about it all. You've said it so well. I'm grateful for the support and I send you a big hug too. Have a great day!

11 - 12 of 12