PTSD and yet another xmas post

Hi @Former-Member

So glad that it has been a good year for you.

Great that the kids are helping you move. Pity they couldnt help you settle in for a bit.

Did you have to agree to taking them out for unspecified time with extended family? Was there coercion involved?

I dont mean to presume, but if you dont feel safe, then maybe, do something but limit contact ..

Yeah

My favourite dish

'Chilli Chicken'

Sorry to be silly

For a moment i decided to be light hearted rather than be too serious

How is everyone anyway

@Former-Member - hi there - it seems as if plugging along from one day to the next is about the top of your coping skills and after all - that's not bad

But - I don't know what happened in the past but you have PTSD jump up and bite you in the face at times - and Christmas is LOADED with events that will send you crashing into the past

As we reach our later years there are more events and more memories - and yet Christmas seems to send a lot of people into a crazy spinning activity I really can't get into and the memories of Christmas Past do come and haunt us - and it would be enough to have them in your dreams but they chase you all day atm - I hear you - I understand

I'm glad your kids could help you out with moving - and yes - it would have been great if they had helped you settle in - but they have yet to learn how tough life can been at times

My best wishes - I wish you an easy time. I know so little about your situation I really can't suggest anything but still - this time will come to pass as it does every year - and all your buttons get pressed

So my hugs and best thoughts

Decadian

Moving house is a big thing,and change.Sounds like you have your self care tactics in place.I moved three times since last September,never moved in my 44 years prior to this.I have major depression and anxiety,and have triggers which bring on my "bad storms".Got one now because I had a busy few days and got tired.Tiredness is a big trigger,and stress.This afternoon due to being tired , had a trigger for my stress,which I felt"unsafe" ,I have had to take a calmative to relax me,because for a period of time I felt I had no control.I am amazed how depression and anxiety can hit me like a ton of bricks from my triggers.I know this is from past experiences,and how I interpret life's stressors and events.I spend xmas on my own,its a awful time to reflect such as you were in hospital last year.I have been told to go to hospital and haven't,so see it as you have been there,been treated,see change as a positive thing,and appreciate your family support.As I have said on this website with depression we reflect on yesterday,and anxiety we worry about tomorrow.That might be why I can't take Christmas carols anymore,now I'm older,they make me reflect on the Xmas 's I have had on my own.All I can say to you is try and focus on the here and now and keep the self care tactics up during the stress of moving.

@Former-Member Will you have your own car with you when you are on the holiday? Are you able to know when you are not safe. I know this part may be more complicated than I realise but it there a point of recognition when safety is an issue. Can you make a pact to leave and find other accommodation during this time. I know you don't want to let the kids down and they may not understand now but in time they will and they will be so proud you chose safety for short periods of time in order to spend time with them. I was thinking of a motel or other accommodation for a night here or there . I know I don't really understand how it works for you but I do know that the kids will find out one day and they will be so very grateful and proud of the sacrifices you have made to be able to be part of their lives. They would want you safe more than anything. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. 💜🤗

Thanks everyone. The timing was basically set by the family. They said that my kids can only come here for 3 days so that's why the move is so quick, and then they said when I need to be up there with them. It's not coercion exactly. Hard to explain. We just can't say no to them.

You're right @Former-Member, the biggest risk is what I/we aren't aware of and that's not looking so good at this point. We won't have a car there. We're flying up and she's driving us back so that we can bring the dog here.

I'm starting to think that maybe we need some external safety thing... not sure what or how, but somebody external who we can call in an emergency and/or show up if we don't call. Something like that. I don't know, still trying to work it out.

That sounds like a good plan @Former-Member. I hope you can make that work. You could try checking in here too as a back up everyday if that would help. I'm sure if a few of us knew we could make sure we could post to you daily or you could check in. It seems to me a good time to put plans in place to cover all bases. I'm really happy you'll be seeing the kids though.

Im not sure if moderators could help with this too if it would help you.

What are your thoughts?

Not feeling like you have control of your life, not being able to handle change or pressure,not being able to say no,or pleasing other people,are the very foundations,of mental Health issues.Yes you will need safety measures in place,eg:a time in the day that is yours only such as to have a sleep or read a book.Also consider,how you are going to handle family conflict,and how you can put well your self care tactics in place.

At the moment ,we probably just all need to breathe.

I think that might be a good idea @Former-Member. It's becoming like a long confusing tunnel of images so that where I don't know which are recent memories, and which are just worries and which are more distant memories. The spinning makes me nauseous but I know we're not there yet so right now everything is just fine. Hre is okay right now. Very numb physically which is a SH risk but we're still good. We've very committed to doing this right this year for our kids and not winding up in hospital like last year. We can do this, just need to keep grounded, right? and be smart.

@Former-Member, yeh one of the problems in this place we're going is that there is zero privacy. The kids hate that too though so I think we will be able to get away together.

thanks y'al for letting us rite messy thins here.

I'm not making it up

Back then at least

A DEMON trapped in a temple on 'Wudang Mountain' China