Is this anyone else experience of Bipolar 2?

I’m on a Rollercoaster of depression. I’m up add down like a yo-yo 🪀 and something isn’t right.

Over the past year and a half the longest continuous days without depression I’ve had is 15 days. Average is 3-5 days of functioning and 7 days of deep depression.

And for the past 4 months I get 2 or 3 days of feeling ok (that means I can function, go to work or the gym and clean the house) then it’s 3 to 7 days of debilitating depression (on the couch) and full blown SI.

I was diagnosed 8 years ago with bipolar 2 and after a few years of medication hell I stopped and did therapy, change my diet and became an expert in my emotional regulation.

I’ve used self hypnosis, eat a good diet, do 3 to 7 saunas/cold plunges a week, exercise, get sunlight, take vitamins, ensure I have social connection and heaps more to manage my symptoms but this is out of control and I’m patting myself on the back for still being here as the extent of my depression and SI symptoms have been so serious.

I may have ADHD undiagnosed as I can’t afford the test, but in the last year and a half my symptoms are off the chart. I'm close to the age of Perimenopause so this could be a contributing factor (even though my blood works come back in the normal range).

I’m broke as I’ve not been able to work much and the earliest appointment for seeing a psychiatrist is April next year. I’ve been to the hospital for help and that was both traumatic and a total waste of time. They suggested a DBT course which I’ve already done.

I tried an SRI medication and it sent me straight to SI. I’m now starting on a mood stabilizer but it’s a slow build and I’ve had Stephen Johnson reaction to it many years ago so my hopes are not high and I’m exhausted 🥱.