Psychosis

hello again @Former-Member

my son has private health cover but it is a waste of time going down that path because he is in denial. they can discharge themselves, not take medication and not keep appointments.

that is why i am relieved if he ends up back in the public health system as horrible as it might be it is better than being out on the street who knows where and with who knows whom. just dont want to go there.

i did respond to your other comment. hang in there. big bear hug xxx

@PeppiPatty,

Yes it's been a while.

Unfortunately,I haven't had much time on my hands lately.

I hope your going well?

Me too @ivana

@Former-Member & @Former-Member When I write to my wonderful friend @ivana...I think it's great that you both can understand each other on your relatives......

We only have our loved ones and hope at the end of the day ............

Our friends.

Im going well @ivana. I had a restraining order on my husband for 18 months but he went away and gave up all the bad behaviour....illegal substance abuse, alcohol.....About two months ago, He's pretty much quit smoking: This month he has fallen back a bit........But gained heaps of weight. LAst week, we both decided to quit eating sugar.

I WANT SUGAR. Chocolate. White Chocolate, dark chocolate, anything. Want .I want,

How about you ? Good to see you @ivana !

if this message is for me @Former-Member

I'm not asking you to.

My husband had to meet me, someone who does'nt have an agenda unlike his family.

You are completely different than my in laws.......

Please Don't give up on him. I am going to ask my husband if Im allowed to tell you of his journey.......

We got married. His and My Mum were spitting chips when we got married. They hated me. He was trying to quit everything to be closer to me........there was worse than no help..........

He ended up in jail 9 months, MIL still blames me. Whatever for I have no idea.

He gets out.......anyway, I got a restraining order ( he was dangerous ) on him and with support with my Psychotherapist and Sane Forums, I waited. After 18 months he came back, drug and alcohol free.

We still see my Psychotherapist who tells him that I waited. This is something that he is not used to.

Dear @Former-Member

Please please son't stop writing

I have sent so many weird messags here...One day Ille find them for you.

I still have a huge amount of shame about what I did at Arafmi several years ago.

Did you know that you need to feel at peace at as many places as you can while this is happening and nothing will happen here....you have a place here to write what you want and there will be no judgement. I remember how AWFUL it was for me ......PPxxx

hello @PeppiPatty

i broke down and cried when i read your words. i needed to. I've been soldiering on again as i usually do, i feel as though my whole life is centred around my older son at the moment. i am my own worst enemy.

when i'm on a mission that's it i am so intense and determined. I am a listener more than a speaker, i am a giver more than a taker (i've come to realise this about myself having been told over and over). When mixing these two traits with love, compassion, maternal instincts, determination, tenacity as well as fierce passion, protection, loyalty they can take their toll especially when in over large doses. I am the lioness who fiercely protects her cubs. The elephant who extends her trunk in reaching out to her offspring and never forgets. I can relate more to animals than I can people these days.

im just going to go and curl up in a ball and wait for this phone call about where things are at. stuff is meant to be happening today and i am supposed to get a phone call about outcome. i cant say any more than that should it inadvertently interfere.

thank you for these words:

"Did you know that you need to feel at peace at as many places as you can while this is happening and nothing will happen here....you have a place here to write what you want and there will be no judgement. I remember how AWFUL it was for me ......PPxxx"

you have helped put things back into perspective slightly. my whole being is so overwhelmed and shell shocked by this whole experience. It still feels so surreal. Why us?????? I'm sure that this is a common reaction although knowing that does not lessen the intensity or effect in any way.

my psychiatrist sessions have now been taken over with my talking about my son the whole time. My psychiatrist looks as though he cant wait for the session to finish and get away from this mad woman. He must absolutely dread each appointment.

I dont feel as though the sessions are helping at all but I think that if I wasnt having them I wouldnt be here at all.

I liked that you shared with me that you had sent so many weird messages here because I felt as though I was the only one doing that.

So many of the posts on here are so composed and carefully thought out.

I was seriously thinking about starting up journal writing again instead of being on here.

So thank you for helping me to fell wanted. Another friendly soul I have met on here.xx

Dearest @Former-Member

Let this place be a journal......you have my deepest allow ance to ask @Appleblossom what I've been like in tha past......

About 3-4 years ago....I went into a lecture room full of lawyers and top lawyer of Perth for Mental health and broke down sobbing...... in front of all these lawyers, my carefully written out question fell out of my brain while reading it and said the most stupid things and all these lawyers........................

Move on......

Your messages are'nt silly, if you want, I can go back and read them all and give a quick sentance on them all, Ive done it for someone called @kato a little while ago who thought his messages were sillly but they were'nt.

You remind me of someone like me who keeps on being your own enemy....but I must write here that your message is so amazingly creative........

I dont think that your Psychiatrist is hanging out to finish your session, I think that he's very interested how long it will take for you to start caring for you again. It's really really hard, I think of my friends who tell their children to behave them selves when I visit them and I tell my friends, let your children just run around and be them selves, I love them !! I wish that my sons could have had that freedom......

How can you be anything but who you are right now ? Your son needs you to be only you, not anyone else.......

I eould never ever have had that strength of being able to write such a message like you have when I first came onboard here on Sane Forums.

PP

oh thank you @PeppiPatty

i dont know about strength i am purely letting my thoughts flow. I have had major depression and anxiety for a long time now. I have had the depression since early teens. had a period of about 8 years where I was a whole person. then just life events, manipulative people et etc have had their toll. I usually manage it well.

Lawyers well they are a breed onto their own. i can well imagine the atmosphere in the room before you were even allowed to open your mouth.

As far as the lawyer representing you, re a mental health issue there should have been an advocate for you. I see that as being remiss on their side, further exasperating an already untenable situation for you to have to be in court. well done for turning up.

i was expecting some further development interstate with the authorities today re my son but it didnt eventuate. I received a phone call from his so called "care coordinator" who needs to look up the meaning of "care".

She just prattled on in her office jargon and was thrown when I asked her to slow down and answer some questions. She floundered because she didnt have a clue, she hasnt kept up to date with my son's situation. she fired everything back at me. Anything I asked I got "well I dont know" or "i dont work interstate". She gave me the phone no to ring the interstate mental health team. She then asked me to keep in touch with any outcome. I was flabbergasted since the only time I heard from her was yesterday because a very helpful lady in another organisation went straight to the head honcho. hence i was contacted by her. I replied that she had told me my son's CTO expired today at 2pm. Her response well he will still be on their books and if he stays interstate they need to know. My question and if I dont know where he is staying? Iwas then told that I was rude and she hung up on me.

The definition of "care" comes under C.

She actually went to the house that my son was temporarily staying at just after he was released, on a sunday morning without notice. Is that allowed?

I rang the interstate team, nice lady on reception advised someone from the triage, crisis care team should be in touch later today.How hard is that? question asked, answered, politely, humanely.

another page of venting. this is the hardest part for me

yes helps when I vent on here but i write books! the poor person i respond to already has their own issues otherwise wouldnt be on here. the last thing they need is my hype.

I just feel so much for my son if I am getting this treatment, how are they treating him.

I think i will look into time travelling and go back in time and fix this. i will fix the whole system. actually if I reversed the roles that would be interesting wouldnt it. bit cheeky i know but need to be instead of bawling my eyes out.