Peer Group Chat// Asserting Our Boundaries // Thursday 23rd November 2023, 7-8:30PM AEDT

@TideisTurning The experience was frustrating. It put me in a position to display thoughts I felt were needed that I otherwise wouldn't have mentioned at that particular time in a public forum. Then the other person removed all trace of their transgression, and I ended up being annoyed at the mess that had been made in terms of flow for my story I set out to tell in that thread.

The example of a close family member doesn't cut it for me, since they are incapable of respect. I don't bother setting boundaries with them, I just tell them to go *&$% themselves. My family is abusive.

I did attempt to set boundaries today, or rather stand up for myself when I felt I was being treated unfairly, and quite possibly painted in tones that were directly false. This other person clearly took some issue with my existence, and I had a choice of being triggered and bullied, and over-reacting, which I believe was their malicious intent, but I feel I handled it firmly and calmly. The outcome of that interaction I feel is not concluded yet.

Hi @deshift

I'm the moderator today and will look into it for you. I wasn't in yesterday so will go through the posts etc. Was it a post from yesterday you are talking about that was deleted?

Hanami

Ok, thankyou @deshift . Still searching for it, will get back to you soon.

I may have to ask whoever was on moderating last night, both of whom will be around this afternoon.

@Former-Member, that is a great example! DEAR MAN is a tool we can lean on if needed, not necessarily the rule we always have to follow. it sounds like, whether that framework was used not, you were able to effectively stand up for yourself, which to me is the main goal of assertiveness. Mission accomplished!

@Glisten, I hope the tools may be useful for you 😊

@deshift, I feel like what you've described also highlights the importance of standing up for yourself. Sometimes, a boundary is no contact, or taking a break to cool off, and that's okay too. It sounds like you've got a really well-developed sense of what feels acceptable for you, and also ways of articulating this when it's needed. That is no small feat!

For my part, I'll leave you all with a quote that might help provide motivation to try asserting boundaries when you need to, "You don't just give up. you don't just let things happen. you make a stand. You say no." That's not to say assertiveness and boundaries are not hard and challenging- they are! But, it's also possible.

@Blackbird11 @Snowie @Appleblossom @Snowie @Captain24 @Shaz51 @7cough9