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potential sex addiction? validation issues

_redNew Contributor14 Nov 2023, 5:55 pm AEDT

potential sex addiction? validation issues

hi there. i don’t know what to do. i have sex with a different guy every weekend and my friends are becoming worried for me. i convinced myself that it was empowering for me, but now i just feel really shit about it and disgusting. but i cant stop. it’s so dramatic but the temporary high of a boy being attracted to me enough to have sex with me is what i live for. it’s like having somebody to yourself for a night, and i love having that. even though the next day a lot of the time we never speak again and block eachother on all socials. by doing this i’m really searching for somebody to commit to, but i’m self sabotaging in the way i’m going about it. i push everybody away who seems even a little bit interested in me because i never believe them and i’m so scared of being hurt. i have so many beautiful female friends who i adore and i wish that i could just live for them, without feeling the constant need to be searching for a boy to talk to, or have sex with. i am so lonely. help me.

2 replies

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In response to: potential sex addiction? validation issues

Gina2Contributor14 Nov 2023, 6:17 pm AEDT

Re: potential sex addiction? validation issues

Hi @_red

You shouldn't feel disgusted or ashamed in yourself. Exploring yourself sexually is normal and as long as you are practicing safe sex then its completely okay to have multiple sexual partners. Don't feel bad for liking that "high", sex gives us dopamine and that is something natural that everyone experiences.

Feeling lonely is normal, reaching out to your friends might be a good idea if you are having trouble forming relationships with boys. Take time to look within yourself and think about what you want. You never have to rush into anything.

Thanks,

Gina2

In response to: potential sex addiction? validation issues

MelbcoffeesnobSenior Contributor14 Nov 2023, 6:26 pm AEDT

Re: potential sex addiction? validation issues

Hey @_red

I can see that you are new here, welcome to the forums.

Firstly, you are a human being, and you are trying to get your needs met in whatever way you can. Telling your story here is the first step to breaking down the feeling of shame.

It sounds like being sexual with these different men is a way to cover up your feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and low self-worth, am I correct in saying that? To address the behavior change perhaps you need to address these feelings and the root cause of why you are feeling this way. (sometimes in can come from prior abandonment).

It sounds like you really want to change. And that is a very brave thing to do. You are already well on the way. You have identified what the behavior is that you want to change and you are reaching out here on the forum. You are doing great!!

It would also probably be a good idea to seek help from a professional, counselor, or Psychologist to help you work through and unpack these feelings coming up for you, is there someone that you typically see?

Sending you lots of kindness and care

Coffeesnob

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