Compound of Lies

Hi,

First poster here and I don't know really where to start.

I have recently just gone through a breakup with my partner of over 5 years due to dishonesty and trust.

Before meeting my partner, I did make some bad, awful decisions surrounding money with the whole crypto boom that occurred, thinking this was the big break that I could achieve at a young age. Turns out, it wasn't really the big break. I did make a few profits and what, but not to the expectation that I wanted. You could say that I am a chaser when it comes to finding fortune, this also goes with gambling.

Anyways, my partner and I at the start of this year built a financial plan. I was ashamed of my savings and would always probe me where I was at whenever we tracked. I would dodge or lie about the reasons as to why my savings weren't that high or as expected based on our tracker.

I realised that I was getting lost in my own lies which she managed to catch on to which, I don't blame her, had to make the call on this relationship.

Why am I so stuck on constantly lying to people about myself? It has unfortunately cost my potential marriage with my ex-partner and has put me in a world of hurt.

I would like some advise to at least start a recovery plan that gets me better and prevents me from ever hurting another person again through deception and dishonesty.