at_51Casual Contributor
Heartbreak
Hi everyone,
I hope everyone is in good health. Just to express emotions that going through for the first time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Is it normal to feel this way? Why do society, family love, their integrity, age always comes between the true love? I share my story from start. I met a boy 5 years ago. Over the period of time we became good friends and housemates. He confessed his feeling to me but just because of my perspective and family issues I was not able to commit to him. I told him that to be friends. ( I guess that’s the wrong move I did) Later, we started getting close and enjoying each other company. He helped me to get out of my childhood trauma. He was always there for me when I needed. I fell for him. We still didn’t commit. Due to his work he had to move to another place and that hit me hard. I couldn’t move without him. Somewhere I was loosing him. Somehow we managed that phase. Then covid hit, I got stuck into my home country and we drifted. We couldn’t spend much time, we couldn’t be with each other when we needed the most. And I decided to move on. But he couldn’t. When I came back we behave like nothing happened and continue to be friends. But we fell harder over the time. We couldn’t imagine our lives without each other. But the question still stands, will we be able to be with each other forever? We have no answer because of our culture, family. Due to our age he was forced to get married to someone else through an arrange marriage set up. He didn’t ask me before he took any decision and just informed me that he is engaged. I was shattered. But I was madly in love with him. Even after the setup, we were together for 8 months. And those time I requested him to break off that marriage setup and be with me. I was ready to do all the things he wanted and he felt the same way but we were stuck with other stupid things that didn’t give us that courage to face our family. And just like that he left back home for his marriage. Since the day he left. Everyday I’m begging him to come back, ready to go against everything for love, for him. I tried really hard but still couldn’t fix it. I’m crying everyday till my heart is numb, couldn’t do anything, cannot sleep, cannot eat, cannot get out of bed,every small step is getting tough. Why do other factors always come in between love? I feel I cannot survive without him. How hard shall I try for my love? I don’t know how to handle or deal with it. I just went numb.
Thank you everyone for listening.
