This is ridiculous

I can't post what I'm experiencing and I can't post my medications. I have bipolar disorder and I'm medicated and it doesn't fix anything. I just had my post marked as spam. Why is everything on this site fighting me? Psychologists don't help, I can't relate to anything on this forum or site. I cant be the only ine in the entire country whose bipolar literally ruins their life. Cbt doesnt work for me and i know for a fact im not the only one. and i cant afford therapy to use any of the so called alternatives are not viable. I want help and I'm not even allowed to ask for it. I try to tell ppl what the doctor has me taking butni can't discuss that. Who am I meant to talk to? There is literally nobody. I have no where to go with this and I keep being told to post here. But it just gets deleted or not allowed. I'm desperate and there is no treatment and no tools for me. I need help. I can't do anything right according to the forum rules. But someone told me to post again. This is me posting again for the second time. I'm exhausted but I can't rest. I'm sitting in limbo and noone can tell me how to fix it