how to cope when help is on the way but not here yet?

Hi @wail , welcome to the forums, it's good you've joined 🙂

I can only suggest something that has helped me in the past when I've been severely depressed and waiting for help...distraction (I used reading). I also used to sit on my hands so I wouldn't attempt suicide. Somehow it worked and I got the help I needed after 3 years and my life is much better now.

One other thing that I can think of that helped me was stronger antidepressants. How would you feel about visiting your GP and telling them how you feel and maybe asking about meds / stronger meds?

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thank you @NatureLover that helps so much. ive been suicidal too but wary to mention it because i dont want to trouble people when i have zero intention of carrying anything out.

ive been distracting myself and i'll have to lean into it more. having empty time is painful. i'll see if i can watch some shows.

no luck with the dosage though, i'm already on max.

i'd like to hear more if youre willing to share.

i just really wish that my life can get much better too.

when you started getting help, was it slow going still, or did you finally feel like you had something to hold on to? maybe finally things started falling into place and it wasn't so desperately crawl-paced anymore? that feels a bit pie in the sky though.

i want to have hope. although im not sure i should ask because hope can be painful at rock bottom when i know i'm going to be there for a while.

Hi @wail

Welcome to the forums 🙂

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and worries here, they're so welcome here 💛
I’m so sorry to hear about everything that’s been happening for you. I can hear how much you are going through and how much you are trying.

I can really resonate with what you are sharing. I know what it feels like to feel depressed, it can be so hard. These thoughts you share is something I have battled with myself. It is so hard carrying the hard parts of our mental health everyday but I want to remind you that it is possible to get better, and you deserve that. I have so much hope for you 💛

I'm sorry that receiving help has been slow, it sounds like it is something you want for yourself.

How are you taking care of yourself amongst what is going on? You deserve help, I am sharing some options for support if it is something you might need during this time.

• SANE offers 1 on 1 phone support with Peer Support workers if you feel like having more 1 on 1 support SANE guided service: SANE drop-in services are staffed by qualified team of counsellors and people with lived experience of mental health issues who will provide you with free digital and telehealth support, information and referrals.’ --- Click here for more info if you would like to have a look -- https://www.sane.org/referral
• Autistic Professor is someone who has autism and shares authentically
• ADHD support groups in Australia
• A letter to you 🙂

Sending you someone else's story that they have shared to remind you that you can get through this 💛

I have so many hugs I am wanting to send your way. Please continue to reach out, we are here to support.

fluffylight x

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@wail wrote:

i'd like to hear more if youre willing to share.

...

when you started getting help, was it slow going still, or did you finally feel like you had something to hold on to? maybe finally things started falling into place and it wasn't so desperately crawl-paced anymore? that feels a bit pie in the sky though.

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Hi @wail , I had a 3-year nervous breakdown (= severe depression and intense SI (suicidal ideation)) which I spent in bed. My GP kept me alive by making me promise not to attempt suicide till I saw her next. At the end of the 3 years, she sent me to the ER. They didn't have a bed in the psych ward but they referred me to a psychiatrist who did talk therapy. That was 15 years ago, and when she retired I found an excellent psychologist.

Those 15 years of regular therapy have resulted in a lot of healing for me. I will never be fully healed as the damage is too deep, but the healing is enough to get on with my life and be content. (I have 6 MIs (mental illnesses) plus childhood (actually lifelong) trauma.)

Oh, and that first psychiatrist switched me to a much stronger antidepressant, which saved my life. Before that, I waited 18 years to find her. I was trying various therapists but none worked out. But it was worth the wait. (I'm 52 now)

So, to answer your questions, when I finally found the help, I did feel I had something to hold on to. I guess it wasn't too slow-going. I had to go through a whole lot of anger first. I also had to talk through all my childhood trauma.

So I'd like to encourage you: I waited 18 years for good therapy, and the last 3 years of that were intense SI and absolute despair. But I am happy with my life now despite the 6 MIs which are really hard to juggle and which clash with each other. I haven't had any SI for the last 15 years. So please don't give up hope...your life can become much better. @wail 🙂

thank you so much. sorry for not replying yet.

thought i'd ask: what can i do when i'm trying to distract myself and just get through the day but sad, scary thoughts drift into my head? about death and all.

happened a little today and a lot yesterday. suddenly i feel tears and all i can think about is how i cant stand this anymore. whatever "this" is, i dont really know. its usually accompanied by resigned dread.

@NatureLover

@fluffylight

Hi @wail , something that helped me was writing down my dark thoughts in poems about death. However, I'm not sure if that's really what you're looking for! In terms of distraction, I think anything that works is good - cooking, reading, films, craft, just something to occupy your hands and hopefully your mind a bit.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this...things will improve, but I know it's so incredibly hard 😢