Fright night

Hi Fawkes

Sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time, Also pleased to hear your decision to live was stronger. Please take care! Lola

Hey @Fawkes ,

It sure sounds distressing for you right now.

The emotional pain must be so intense right now.

I have BPD. It was psychotherapy that made a world of difference. The therapy works to help you develop a more helpful way of thinking so that emotional bumps are less painful.

Have you engaged in any such therapy?

It sure sounds hard @Fawkes .

It sounds like back then, perhaps you weren’t ready yet. Maybe you are more ready now?

For me, it took over a decade for me to be ready. When I sought help, it simply didn’t work because I don’t think I was ready to make the changes needed. In my early 30s, I pretty had enough of myself and said I’d have to give my all or nothing.

Therapy was intense. It was difficult. It was full of tears. Yet it worked. I went through Spectrum in Victoria - Personality Disorder Specialist Service and completed 18 months of MBT.

Psychotherapy is shown to make a huge difference for those with BPD.

You can certainly recover from BPD - it’s not a life sentence.

Oh, and with your question about psychiatrists in Australia? Meds are shown to help with the symptoms of BPD, but don’t actually ‘cure’ the BPD itself.

For example, I was on meds for the depression and anxiety that came with BPD, but it was the talking therapy that ‘fixed’ my unhelpful thinking @Fawkes

So now that I I know I don’t want to die in a messy house I have set a task today of cleaning up the mess. It’s such slow work. My intrusive thoughts are so relentless that I feel physically paralysed. There is a very real possibility that I might spontaneously combust. I’m really sorry for the rant. I hate sharing. I think it makes me look pathetic and given I’m the cause of all my issues, how can I complain if I’m the cause.

Take it moment by moment @Fawkes . Do what you can.

I'm certainly hearing how intrusive those thoughts are.

Let us know how you go.

Hello @Fawkes I hear you. I had a BPD diagnosis for years... it morphed through others and is currently Bipolar but I think there's underlying undiagnosed CPTSD which is where a lot of the intrusive thoughts come from. Other times I'm just numb.

Yes. The house. I have too much stuff. And get behind with chores. It's overwhelming and embarrassing and hard to face. I find support on a couple of threads here. I try to chip away at it. Others do it in bursts. It's important to celebrate the wins.

I'll tag you into one of the threads.

Meanwhile good luck with your efforts today.

Dimity

I definitely agree @tyme regarding be ready ( or be honest this is just another thing to hate myself for ). I did engage with Spectrum maybe 7-8 years ago but did not make it past my first meeting ( probably didn’t help that my private psychiatrist at the time didn’t support the BDP diagnosis made when I was placed under an involuntary treatment order). I feel like it’s too late for me. I wasted all the opportunities I had when I was financially able to support intensive mental heath care ( and trust me I spend a small fortune), and I now live Tasmania 😆